As the scenery sped by, I leaned back against the window.
"Young Master...? Are you going to sleep?"
"...Yeah, I'm going to get some shut-eye."
I wasn't particularly tired, but I nodded.
I just wanted some peace and quiet.
As I closed my eyes, thoughts I couldn't erase dripped into my mind.
-Young Master.
-You promised... You wouldn't leave...
The first thing that came to mind was Rachel's voice, the way she tried to hold me back earlier.
'...Damn it.'
Scattered memories swirled in disarray.
No matter how much I tried to shake them off, they clung to me relentlessly.
-What will you do if I try to stop you...?
-To me... You mean everything to me...
-If you could just stay by my side...
Her tearful voice.
Every single word, still echoing in my ears, stabbed cruelly at my heart.
I winced, savoring the bitter pain.
'Right, Rachel... You need your 'young master'.'
To her, the 'young master' was...
An existence so significant that she would willingly offer her entire life for him.
I knew.
I knew why she clung so desperately to Raiden.
What kind of salvation she had received from him, why she was so devoted.
'I know it all... I learned it all while being with you...'
That's why I'm leaving.
Because I know too much.
Because being with you, I learned far more than I should have.
'Because... I'm not the 'Raiden' you think I am...'
An arrow of thought pierced my heart.
In the wake of its cruel slaughter, a terrible emptiness poured in.
Overwhelmed by a wave of exhaustion, I bit my lip.
Raiden, and me.
The uncomfortable truth I had been avoiding.
It was only now, at this juncture, that I could truly face it.
'In this world, I'm nothing but... something false.'
The shell was Raiden, but the essence was entirely different.
Like a Cordyceps fungus parasitizing a grasshopper, I was an existence that had invaded another's body and was merely acting as them.
That was me.
'...The one they love, it's not me.'
Ariel, Lucy, and Rachel.
The people who had been my strongest pillars in this life.
They loved Raiden.
Not a fake like me.
Perhaps that was why...
It was so hard for me to accept Master's death.
Because you were the only one who built a relationship with me, solely based on my existence, without any connection to Raiden's past.
'You're already gone... What's the point of thinking about this now?'
There was nothing in this world for me.
Love, friendship, sadness... even my own life didn't belong to me.
I clenched my empty hand into a fist, sinking into a swamp of coldness.
Deeper.
Even deeper.
To a depth from which I could never resurface.
.
.
.
The carriage journeyed on.
It was quite a distance to the family mansion.
It was almost five days later that we finally reached our destination.
"Brother, wake up!"
I opened my eyes at the sudden sound that roused me from my hazy consciousness.
A red-haired girl came into focus in my blurry vision.
Ariel offered me a faint smile as our eyes met.
"Uh, uh... Ariel...?"
"We're here. Come on, wake up."
A throbbing headache pulsed in my head.
I shook off the remnants of sleep and gathered my senses.
As my vision cleared, the light grew brighter.
The carriage had come to a stop.
Through the clear window, I could see the silhouette of a grand mansion casting its shadow.
"...Home."
I muttered, taking in the familiar sight after so long.
Well, technically, it wasn't my home, but Raiden's.
"Please wait a moment, Young Master. I'll open the door for you."
As I straightened my clothes with a bitter taste in my mouth, Rachel, who had already disembarked, bowed politely.
I gave her a puzzled look.
"...You don't have to do that. No one really cares anyway."
"What are you talking about? It's fine normally, but we have to at least do this when the mansion staff are watching."
Rachel explained, gesturing to the servants lined up in front of the main gate.
I gasped as I noticed them.
"Good heavens... What is all this?"
"What else could it be? The staff are here to welcome the Young Master."
"...They don't exactly look very welcoming, do they?"
"I wouldn't know about that."
"This is ridiculous."
Who even ordered this charade?
I massaged my forehead with a groan.
As I reluctantly dragged my feet towards the mansion, someone greeted us.
"Welcome back, Young Lady... and Young Master."
An elderly man stood at the forefront of the line of servants.
I awkwardly returned the greeting of the man who bowed respectfully.
"Ah... It's been a while, Old Gilbert."
"Gilbert!"
The head butler, Gilbert, who oversaw the mansion.
He gave us a gentle smile.
"Please, come inside. You must be weary from the long carriage ride."
"Yes... Let's go in..."
We followed Gilbert's lead.
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Raiden find the Servants Reception quite annoying since He knows Everyone doesn't think really good of Him; and I think it was The Lishite's Mansion's Butler Gilbert who order such reception.
ReplyDeleteHmm now I kind of understand why depression hits him so hard in this world.
ReplyDeleteIt's not his life, he is an impostor suffering the drama of a life that doesn't belong to him at all.
Receiving the love that is not meant for him.
The sole idea of transmigration is really depressing as the parasite. And now add all the problems that he came with