Something False
"...Rachel."
"......"
"Don't tell Ariel that I'm leaving."
I made this request as we walked towards the carriage stop, after our short conversation.
Rachel silently turned her head without a word, gazing in my direction.
"Why?"
The girl seemed to ask quietly.
I gave a wry smile and added a poor explanation.
"Just... I don't want to upset her. I think it's better if she doesn't know."
"......"
"And... If Ariel finds out, she'll definitely try to stop me from leaving..."
My words trailed off, becoming fainter towards the end of the sentence.
As I realized how selfish my request was, the corners of my lips twisted bitterly.
Announcing my farewell.
And then hiding the truth so that no one could stop me...
'...Damn it.'
I swallowed a sigh and let out a breath.
The breath that escaped my lips dissolved into frosty air.
"Never mind... Just forget I said anything."
"......"
I brushed off the slip of the tongue.
As I tried to force a smile back on my face and start walking again...
"...You think the young lady would stop you?"
The girl, who had been silent until now, spoke up.
"Rachel...?"
"You just said it yourself. You think the young lady would try to stop you..."
Her voice trembled strangely.
As I looked up, a sense of unease washing over me, I saw trails of tears streaming down her pale cheeks.
"What about me? Why did you tell me...?"
Her brown eyes were filled with tears.
Looking straight at me.
"I can stop you too... I feel the same way as the young lady, that I don't want you to leave..."
Her pupils shook.
Droplets of water fell to the ground.
As if the tears she had been holding back had finally burst, she looked at me, her face contorted in anguish.
"What will you do if I try to stop you...?"
"......"
"Even though I'm just a maid with no right to speak... If I just tell the Duke or the young lady...!"
"Rachel."
I cut her off with a calm voice.
Only then did Rachel seem to realize how agitated she had become, and she closed her mouth.
"......"
I spoke briefly to her.
"You wouldn't do that."
Because...
"You said you were always on my side."
The dry words settled like winter.
At the same time, the girl's distraught expression hardened.
In that fleeting moment, fragments of a shattered past flashed before my eyes.
-I'm always on the young master's side.
-I told you... I'm always on your side, young master.
-Don't worry, young master. Everything will be alright.
Always on my side.
"You said that, Rachel."
"......"
These words bound her.
And in the end, these words would sever the ties between us.
Because she valued 'Raiden' above all else, she was fated to never be able to hold me back.
"To me... You mean everything to me..."
"......"
"If you could just stay by my side..."
Tear tracks shimmered transparently in the pale sunlight.
Facing the lingering remnants of her sorrow, I could only manage a bitter smile.
If I let my guard down for even a moment.
It felt like I would be swept away by the crashing waves and disappear.
"I'm sorry..."
"......"
"I'm sorry."
The apology was repeated once more.
Nothing changed, nothing was resolved.
The wounds etched into our hearts only festered.
.
.
.
After that last conversation.
No more words were exchanged between us.
Our footsteps were cloaked in silence.
After some time had passed.
I could finally see the carriage stop, our original destination, up ahead.
"...Brother! Rachel!"
Ariel, who had come to meet us, ran towards us as soon as she spotted us.
The red-haired girl flew like the wind and threw her arms around me.
She buried her face in my chest and grumbled.
"Why are you so late?"
"Sorry, I was running late."
"You should have come sooner..."
"Haha, were you worried? Did you think I'd run away or something?"
"...Yes."
Her voice, cold and subdued, reached my ears.
As if seeking warmth, Ariel hugged me tighter and trembled.
"I was scared... that you wouldn't come."
"Ariel?"
"What if you, like that time..."
"......"
Once again, I couldn't bring myself to speak.
By 'that time,' she must have meant a few months ago.
It seemed the memory of that day had left a deep scar on her.
A throbbing sensation lingered around my neck.
I forced a smile and patted Ariel's back.
"Enough with the whining. We need to get going. The carriage is waiting."
"Okay..."
Ariel nodded.
She pulled away obediently, hesitated for a moment, then carefully took my hand.
Her touch sent a pang of sympathy through me.
I averted my gaze, trying to hide the mixture of emotions swirling within me.
A touch of anxiety, sadness, and guilt.
And so, we boarded the carriage.
"Alright, let's depart... Hyah!"
-Neigh!
The coachman announced our vigorous departure as soon as everyone was seated.
The carriage began to roll down the road, carrying with it the rattling air.
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Even if he's leaving the academy why can't he just stay with family.
ReplyDeleteI feel so bad for Rachel.
Probably Raiden wants to find a place when no one can't recognize Him or avoid People than can cause him PTSD and restart His life. Either He becomes an Adventurer or a Mercenary while hidding His identity and keeping relationships to a minimal with Other People.
ReplyDeleteThis is the closest I've ever come to crying from a work of fiction.
ReplyDeleteMy chest actually hurts wtf