***
The memories after that are blurry.
I wasn't in my right mind to fully grasp the chaotic situation that unfolded.
All I remember is that it was pure pandemonium.
I burned through the fleeting images like a single cigarette.
-Young master...!!
Rachel, who rushed over and grabbed me the moment she saw my pathetic state.
-Sob, Brother!! No, don't do this!!
Ariel, who burst into tears beside her, her face full of fear.
-Ra-Raiden... I'll untie you soon, ju-just... please stay still...!!
Lucy, who was trying to untie the knot around my neck with trembling hands.
-Rai... den...
Margaret, who stumbled for a moment with a pale face before collapsing onto the floor.
And...
-Let go of me...! Let me die... Let me die!!
-Please...! Please!!
The black-haired boy who was having a seizure, cursing at the children.
I don't think any of us were in our right minds, me or the children.
"......Sigh."
I choked back empty emotions and exhaled.
I was back where I started.
Bound hand and foot to the bed, a prisoner once again.
The only difference was that this time, I was under the watchful eyes of Rachel and many other children.
"......"
A heavy silence filled the room.
The only sounds that echoed in the quiet darkness were the occasional sobs from Ariel and Lucy.
In that stifling silence...
It was Rachel who broke it first.
"Young master."
"......"
"Please have something to eat... They said you haven't eaten anything for three days."
She untied my bound hands.
Rachel held out a bowl of beef stew, seemingly conjured from thin air.
I flinched as I regained control of my arms, staring at it silently.
"Please... At least eat this and come to your senses..."
Her voice, as fragile as it was about to break, filled the room with sorrow.
The surface of the red stew in the glass bowl rippled slightly.
In a fleeting glance, I caught her brown eyes, clearly trembling.
"Young master... Please..."
Only the reflection of the black-haired boy stared back from the surface of the red stew.
The misery reflected in his dark eyes pierced my heart once more.
It was a feeling of utter despair.
Reflexively, I swatted the bowl away from Rachel's hand.
"I-I'll feed you...! So, so please just open your mouth...!"
-CRASH!
The glass shattered into pieces with a sharp cracking sound.
The spilled contents stained the floor a bright red, like bloodstains from just a few hours ago.
My palm was covered in the hot stew.
I clenched it tightly and lifted my head, which had been hanging low.
The venomous thorns loaded on the taut bowstring were shot without hesitation towards the children staring back at me.
"Why... Why did you save me...?"
I asked.
Even though I knew these words would leave a scar on their hearts.
I spat out my resentment.
"Y-Young master..."
I burned with a rage fueled by resignation.
Resignation at the path of life that had fallen at my feet once more, and rage towards the children who had interrupted my beautiful suicide.
"You should have... Just left me alone..."
With the enervation that gnawed at my very being, my voice trailed off weakly.
Hot tears traced lines down my cold cheeks.
Seeing me shed tears, Rachel, with an expression I had never seen before, grabbed me and sobbed.
"H-How could you say such a thing, young master...!! To just leave you to die... How could we...!"
"......Rachel."
I cut her off firmly.
And grabbed her crumpled sleeve.
Looking at my reflection in her brown eyes, I continued.
"I... I can't do this anymore..."
I just want to run away.
To a place where I can turn to ashes and scatter without a care in the world.
To a place where I can find eternal peace, free from any dreams.
"Young... master...."
"......I want to end it all."
I lowered my head.
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Milking the f out of this
ReplyDeleteAlways nice to see people who lack empathy in the comments.
ReplyDeleteMakes you wonder why they even keep reading
DeleteThey can just read munchkin stories especially the chinese one if they dont want melodrama
DeleteWatching this series either make me relate, or make me more depressed lol. Am i cooked ?
ReplyDeleteI think the author need to visit a psychiatrist. Something is definitely wrong with his mental state.
ReplyDeleteShit man, author had some experience or someone close is this crazy making his inspiration from that dude
ReplyDeleteI feel for him, yet by drowning in misery he is hurting himself and all those who care for him who are desperately trying to help him. That is what also happened to his brother who cared for him in his previous life. How would his mother in this world feel seeing the son she sacrificed her life to protect being in this state? How about his master? It might not be easy, but at some point he needs to break free from this state and reach level of fortitude for his own well-being.
ReplyDeleteThat's kinda the thing though. Most of these people haven't been declaration trying. Of course a lot of it is Raiden's fault for pushing them away in the first place. But both that idea and the idea of pushing away people that are trying to help are rational ideas. And depression tends to ignore rational ideas in the first place
DeleteOnly a miracle can save Raiden/Naru from fading into nothingness since He really fell rock bottom really hard. Hope He somehow snap out of Himself on His own without relying on Anyone.
ReplyDeleteAuthor overdoing it
ReplyDeleteI remember saying this to my family and regretting it. I hope he comes back to his senses and apologizes.Thanks for the chapter
ReplyDeleteAll of this is backwards, stupid author. When mc revealed everything it should have had the oposite effect - he finaly released the held up emotions, so it should have been a positive effect, not a negative. So breaking of the system and the stupid iron will skill doesnt make sense. The rslur MC finaly releaved the trush.
ReplyDeleteIron will skill is incredibly dumb because the author uses it anyway he wants. It does X but not Y. Why does he need deathweed, why does it fix the negative of deathweed but not the adiction of deathweed?
I agree with this.. author kinda forgetting the plot he build and went wild on MC mental state lol. It's kinda funny reading nonsense story from an author that totally forgot the concept he build lol
DeleteWey ya estas cuerdo.
ReplyDelete