Shatter, Scatter, Hate (12)
A week had passed since the day the monsters attacked the Academy.
Reynolds Academy had an early vacation.
Originally, winter vacation was supposed to come in about two weeks.
Due to the damage caused by the last invasion, the faculty had no choice but to move up the vacation schedule.
"Sigh... What in the world is this..."
Aron, the head professor of Reynolds Academy, stared blankly at the piles of documents on his desk.
A deep shadow fell over his face.
"Damn it."
Aron muttered a small curse under his breath and rubbed his tired eyelids.
With his other hand, he flipped through the student roster.
The man diligently continued his work.
"Hoo... First, Kadel Evans, this guy is going back to his family home... Lucas Anderson is also going back home... Simon is staying in the dormitory, and Dana Grimes is..."
The task of recording where students would be staying during the vacation.
It was a tedious task that would normally have been left to the teaching assistants.
However, given the circumstances, matters dealing with detailed student information had to be left to a select few trusted seniors.
-Scribble, scribble...
The only sound that quietly resonated in the study filled with documents was the friction of pen and paper.
Soon, Aron stopped, his eyes falling upon a familiar name on the list.
[Raiden Lishite]
- Scheduled to depart for the Lishite family mansion.
- Dormitory move-out date: December 31st.
"Hmm... December 31st... That's today."
The student of his departed friend.
Aron muttered softly as he filled in the name on the record.
***
"Young master... It's time to wake up... The carriage will be here soon."
"...Yes, I'll get up."
A voice rang in my ears.
I opened my heavy eyelids with a sluggish reply.
The light that poured into my blurry vision made me frown slightly.
"The young lady is waiting."
"Right... Let's go."
I moved.
I got out of the bed that had been embracing my body and stepped onto the floor with unsteady legs.
As I staggered, unable to bear even my own weight, Rachel, who had been standing by the door, reached out as if to support me.
I gently pushed her hand away and shook my head.
"I'm fine, Rachel... I don't need it."
"Young master..."
Rachel stopped at my response.
Her expression flickered with complex emotions.
Her brown eyes held a mixture of sadness, pity, and worry.
The look she had often given me since that day.
With a sigh, I moved my body, my heart aching at her gaze.
"Let's... Let's go, Rachel."
"Yes, young master."
I grabbed my coat from the hanger and left the dormitory.
I slowly walked away, taking one last look at the scenery I would never see again.
-Thud, thud...
After spending a week locked in a dark room.
The weather outside, which I had faced after a long time, was still wintry.
Stepping into the cold air, we walked silently towards the carriage stop.
-Whoosh...
The blowing wind ruffled my hair.
As I adjusted my vision, which kept getting obstructed by my hair, I fell into thought.
'...It's already been five days.'
That day.
Five days had passed since that day when everything in this life had gone wrong.
-Just... Just go away...
-Please disappear from my sight... That's my last request...
After ending the terrible mess in the worst possible way.
I hadn't moved a single step from my bedroom.
I didn't do anything, didn't even try to have any will, just lay in bed and stared blankly at the time passing by.
Regret, resentment, emptiness, loneliness...
These were just some of the emotions that endlessly replayed in my hazy consciousness.
At the same time, they were also things that held no meaning now.
'I won't... cling to happiness that can't be mine anymore...'
I was exhausted.
It was the short phrase that remained in my emptied heart.
Whether it referred to my mental or physical state.
I was undeniably exhausted.
That's why I decided to leave.
I made up my mind to finally cut the thread of life that I had been clinging to so desperately.
That was the final decision I came to after five days of agonizing thought.
"......"
A sense of apathy weighed down on my shoulders without me realizing it.
My dry eyes felt slightly moist.
In my wavering vision, I saw the winter sky dyed in blue.
Tears streamed down my cheeks, leaving long trails.
As I wiped them away and continued walking quietly.
A worried voice reached me from a few steps ahead.
"Young master..."
"...Ah."
Rachel was looking back at me.
I turned my head belatedly.
I had tried to hide my tears, but it seemed to have had little effect.
The girl's already gloomy face had darkened even further.
"......"
"Th-This is... It's nothing, just..."
Just.
I couldn't think of an excuse.
I bit my lip.
I tried to catch my breath to stop crying, but the tears that had already spilled refused to stop easily.
I awkwardly wiped my eyes with my hand and lowered my head.
Rachel, who had been silently watching me, finally moved her feet and approached me.
She opened her arms wide.
And hugged me tightly.
"Ra-Rachel...?"
A sudden warmth enveloped my cold body.
As I flinched in surprise, Rachel tightened her arms around my waist.
"...Stay still."
Her soft voice rang faintly.
Her breath warmed my chest.
The warmth of her hands on my back, the heat of our bodies pressed together.
All of it held me captive.
"...Why are you doing this?"
"Don't you already know...?"
You answered my short question with another short question.
As if to say, don't say anything more.
-Whoosh...
In the fading season, we stood there for a while.
You, holding me.
And I, frozen stiff, my soul lost.
The gentle warmth made me dizzy.
For a moment, I almost raised my hand to hold you back, but I came to my senses a beat too late.
The tears had already stopped.
My unsteady breathing had returned to normal.
"Are you feeling a bit calmer now?"
The warmth that had been enveloping me so comfortably asked.
The girl's presence, so vivid against the backdrop of the endless winter, brought another wave of pain to my heart.
"......"
...Yes, warmth.
Thinking about it, it was all because of this damn warmth.
-Haha... Are you saying I can run away anytime I want?
-Yeah... Well, I'll think about it when things get really tough.
Back then, when I had the chance to run away.
If I had just run away without hesitation, I wouldn't be regretting it now.
'What in the world... was I expecting...'
Sharp thorns were pointed at my own throat.
As always, I was a fool, an idiot who couldn't even make the right choice for himself.
It was already too late.
The situation had gone beyond repair, and I had made up my mind to leave this life.
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Raiden has no need of neither Pity, nor Compassion or Forgiveness from Those who misunderstood Him since He find it really embarrassing and really annoying and He doesn't want to see or heard Them begging for apologies. He wants Them to stay out of His sight and out of His mind.
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