What Winter Left Behind (4)
Life is always about where to stay.
Whether it means a physical dwelling or a psychological nest.
For a person, the concept of home was perhaps the second most important thing after people themselves.
We purchased a nearby mansion and settled in moderately.
Until now, we had only managed to catch a few winks in the bottom of the sewers, but now that we had someone to take care of, we couldn't continue living like that.
Fortunately, thanks to what I had wrung out of the monarch, we were never short of funds.
The first home I had ever owned.
We stayed there.
Actually.
The girl resisted as if she wouldn't go, but once she was in my hands, she had no choice but to be dragged along.
Was her fear of the outside still so severe?
Even while walking down the street, I could see her face turn pale.
She had caused rampages several times, and in some instances, someone had even died or been injured as a result, so it was no wonder that the young girl was afraid of herself.
Was she afraid that her existence would hurt others?
The fear learned from such an obsession made her resistant to others.
I was the same way.
"Lady Neria."
The girl wouldn't open her heart at all.
Even when I called her name, there was no response, and if I tried to approach, she would run into a corner.
It felt like watching a cat that was on high alert.
A deeply wounded cat.
"······."
At first, even hearing her voice was difficult.
Because she wouldn't open her mouth at all.
It seemed she wasn't ready to accept a new life.
I gave the girl a warm bed, good quality food, and soft clothes, but she seemed uncomfortable with the unfamiliar kindness.
Every time, she would fall asleep on the floor because the plush bed felt awkward.
The sudden peace felt unsettling.
Her physical condition was also serious.
Traces of violence remained everywhere, and some areas were even severely festering.
In addition, perhaps because of her starlit body, she frequently had high fevers.
Almost every night.
"Haa, haa···!"
The girl would breathe roughly and sweat profusely.
In the early hours of the morning, when someone was whimpering in pain, I had to spend the night beside the feverish monster.
I stayed by her side.
I knew it would be difficult.
The curse she had lived with since childhood, the life ruined by unwanted power, the suppressed nightmares of abuse and brainwashing.
The wounds that had accumulated over the past years couldn't heal all at once.
I approached slowly with patience.
For the girl who was still crying, by forgiving her wandering sins.
I simply stayed.
"I'm here with you."
"It hurts… s-stop, I'm sorry, please forgive me…"
"No one is blaming you."
"Stay back, I, because of me, everyone will die… It hurts, I, I want it to stop."
"No one will die anymore. You're just having a nightmare. Follow me and take a deep breath calmly."
"Ugh, haa···."
"You're doing well."
Taming is like a process of getting used to each other.
Rather than hastily closing the distance, it's about watching from a distance, offering only the kindness to convey good intentions, and gradually increasing the frequency of being seen.
So that the other person can accept the stranger who has entered their world.
"Lady Neria."
"······."
"If you're too wary, it hurts me too, you know. Anyway, are you hungry? I brought dinner."
It's a concept that has been largely forgotten, but the value of a relationship is inherently like that.
A process of increasing its density based on time.
People explain that the density of time is not always proportional to the volume, but even those people cannot deny the absolute value contained in the volume.
A relationship built up gradually without haste brings two people closer, slowly but surely.
Before we knew it, a thread of connection had been formed between us.
"Alright~ It's time for your treatment today!"
I did my best.
I treated her wounds carefully, not hesitating to use my power to fill in flesh or erase the thickly layered scars.
Thanks to that, about a week later, I could no longer find any scars on the girl's body.
I remember her silver hair as she looked at herself with surprised eyes.
I smiled as if praising her, letting her know that the treatment was over.
I didn't stop there.
"Is there any food you'd like to eat? I'm trying to cook, though I'm not very good at it."
I even prepared meals myself.
Although the girl remained constantly wary, she was the same when faced with warm food.
She would clean her plate every time, which made cooking worthwhile.
Besides that, I would check on her sleep, nurse her when she had a fever, and bring her blankets when she was shivering in a corner.
The serpent and the monster spent their time building a connection.
"Time really flies."
Time passed by like an arrow.
It had already been over a month since we had been staying together in the mansion.
Last month's calendar seemed to have faded away particularly quickly.
As such.
There were changes in their relationship.
The girl still had a cold demeanor, but she no longer raised her thorns or intentionally ignored my words.
Now, light conversations were possible.
It was a triumph of perseverance.
"Heh heh."
A morning no different from any other.
As I was serving a meal with still clumsy hands, the girl sitting at the table suddenly asked a question.
It was the first time the girl had asked something since I started taming her.
I paused the plate I was putting down.
"Why... why are you doing this much for me?"
Pupils that showed no life.
Her listless gaze blankly looked up at me.
The warm kindness that was placed before her every day… were those times a question for the girl?
The monster was asking about devotion.
"I've kept thinking about it, but I don't know. I mean, there's nothing I can do for you."
"Hmm."
If you ask for a reason.
Well.
I don't really know either.
I was aware that I was making my own troubles.
I was also aware that I was being excessively devoted.
I just.
-Oppa!
I can't ignore a sick child.
The only regret I had in my previous life keeps gnawing at a corner of my heart.
I should have been nicer then.
I should have stayed with her a little longer.
I should have made sure she wasn't lonely.
Perhaps I was projecting abstractly engraved soliloquies onto reality.
I answer with a smile that means nothing in particular.
"Because you're precious."
A clumsy excuse I blurted out.
But the girl didn't seem to mind.
She just nodded a few times and started eating the stew in front of her.
I slowly reached out and stroked her silver hair.
For the first time, the girl didn't flinch.
It was a morning that passed with the soft texture of her hair touching my fingertips.
***
The girl was curious.
About the warmth that had suddenly found its way into her life.
'It's strange.'
The world was always cold.
Without a shred of warmth.
Born with a curse disguised as a blessing, she had unwillingly carried sin and tears on her back because of it.
For her, the world was like a wandering without a place to stay.
It was an obvious proposition.
Her existence only hurt others.
Nevertheless, the girl wanted to live.
'It's cold.'
People feared her.
They called her a monster.
They threw stones at her, telling her to get lost.
'It hurts.'
The old man who showed interest.
The old man who called himself a monarch only intended to use the girl.
He locked her in a prison where violence and brainwashing were repeated, with strange devices hanging all over her.
From then on, the girl gave up on life.
She had a gut feeling that this cursed fate would never end.
'I'm lonely.'
The world was winter.
After winter, there was winter, at its end, there was winter again, and at the very end, winter again.
Winter, winter, winter, and winter.
The four seasons, where cold and pain never ended, engulfed her world like a cruel blizzard.
That's how the girl had to live, completely dying for eight years.
She thought that flowers would never bloom in her world.
But.
-Finally, we meet.
-I've come to take you away.
One day.
An unknown warmth found its way into the girl's world.
-Shall we go? Lady Neria.
A name given arbitrarily.
The boy who suddenly appeared pulled her out of the iron cage she was hiding in.
She refused to go outside because she didn't want to hurt other people, but regardless, his touch forcibly led her.
It was the first world she had ever set foot in.
The boy was warm.
He miraculously healed the festering wounds, prepared meals for her every day, and stayed by her side when she suffered from high fever in the early hours of the morning.
As time passed, the girl's sharp wariness gradually eased.
At the same time, she began to have questions.
It was the first kindness she had ever received in her life.
It was closer to curiosity about the unknown.
"Why... why are you doing this much for me?"
So she asked.
Everyone in the world hated her, or only intended to use or manipulate her.
She had thought that life was a path filled only with scars.
Why was it that only you offered this warmth?
The girl needed to know.
"I mean, there's nothing I can do for you."
A voice muttering softly.
The answer that came back to her.
It neatly missed all the expectations that had filled her head.
The boy answered with a gentle smile.
"Because you're precious."
Precious.
It was a word whose meaning was difficult to understand.
A question that was not resolved at all.
But the girl didn't open her mouth any further.
She felt like if she opened her lips even a little, this hazy moment would burst like a balloon.
The monster simply picked up her spoon.
"Heh heh."
Afterward.
A hand gently stroking her hair.
The touch of another person's skin and body temperature for the first time in her life conveyed an unfamiliar sensation.
But.
Even so, it was warm.
She didn't feel like avoiding the hand placed on the crown of her head.
The girl quietly received the clumsy caress.
'…It's warm.'
Just for a moment.
It felt like she had escaped the winter.
***
However.
The world where stars fell was still cold to the girl.
She couldn't even wish for a fleeting moment of happiness.
"So, this is where you were, Lady Neria."
"You…"
Against a backdrop of swirling blood and snow.
The golden-haired serpent and the silver-haired monster faced each other.
Red tears streamed down the girl's cheeks.
Her frail lips parted slightly.
"I'll ask you one last favor. If it's you, I don't think I'll regret it."
He too, was winter.
"Kill… me."
In the sadness that followed.
The girl prayed for a wish for her last season. [T/N: What is this foreshadowing!!!]
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