Rose (10)
A cool temperature.
Only pitch blackness remained in the room.
It was a space that had been pulsating with life until a while ago, but as dawn approached, it was now locked in complete stillness.
Only the candlelight flickered precariously in the faint darkness.
Perhaps, the autumn outside the window.
It was a landscape that resembled a dying season.
In a land where even starlight barely reached, a single rose bloomed forlornly.
Its petals looked as if they would wither at any moment.
"······."
After the treatment was over.
The girl, left alone, had been tossing and turning in bed ever since.
Even though it had been a while since the surroundings had been submerged in silence, a voice still lingered in Rose's ears.
It was the few words the snake had uttered.
—You are afraid.
The chilling voice dug into her wounds.
Her mind was in noisy turmoil.
She slowly raised her body that had been lying in bed.
When she stood on the ground with her weak legs, a sudden dizziness struck her head hard.
The girl seemed to stagger without any resistance.
—Will that be enough for you?
The words that had pierced particularly deep.
The words, stuck like thorns, wouldn't fall off and kept causing an irritating pain.
But the auditory hallucination that had intruded on her consciousness only worsened.
—Her Highness Charlotte will be saddened.
—Because she cares for you.
—What will you do if she really leaves?
The deceitful tongue spoke.
Of the lonely fate of being left alone in the end.
—When that happens, there will really be no one left by your side.
When she heard those words.
Elize felt her breath stop for a moment.
'Sister… is leaving?'
The only person who sought her out on this lonely star.
The person who hid kindness behind her sleepy eyes.
The foolish person who wouldn't give up on her sick sister, even though she was constantly wounded by the sharp thorns.
That person was leaving.
'······That's what I wanted.'
She tried to mumble to herself.
As if it were no problem.
Because this was the result she had wanted from the beginning.
Elize knew.
How devoted her sister was to her.
She wanted to act spoiled, but she knew that it wouldn't be allowed.
Because reality was cruel.
—At most, you have one year left.
Five years ago.
The terminal diagnosis she had received at a young age.
Despite the Little Prince's various efforts, Rose's short life was a predetermined ending.
That day, for the first time, the younger sister saw her older sister's tears.
—Sister… is suffering because of me.
The girl realized belatedly.
How much of a burden she, who always only received, was to her sister.
The sight of her crying with her breath held back was particularly painful.
Because it seemed like she had ruined her sister, who had always been so bright.
Feeling guilty about the tears she shed, Rose could no longer stay by the Little Prince's side.
She had run away.
—I need to get away from Sister.
So that Sister wouldn't be hurt.
So that she would rather hate me.
So that even if she closed her eyes tomorrow, no ugly scar would be left on her kind heart.
Rose decided to push the Little Prince away.
—It's all… because I'm bad.
It was foolish.
Because she was young.
She chose to sever the relationship in order to avoid causing pain.
That was the reason for Rose's thorns.
However, what she had overlooked was that her sister's devotion couldn't be stopped by that much.
The Little Prince approached, even though her fingertips were cut every time.
—Please, leave me alone.
The younger sister trying to shake her off.
The older sister trying to hold on.
The terrible relationship worsened over time, eventually leading to the present.
The one year she had heard about from the doctor had already passed long ago.
But.
That never sounded like hope.
Rather, it was just an extension of hell.
Rose was like a slowly wilting flower petal.
Once her condition started to deteriorate, there was no improvement, and as the days went by, the pain of the curse tormented her viciously.
She was barely surviving, day by day, with only her breath intact.
—Cough, cough…!
The curse made everyone suffer.
The younger sister screamed every day in terrible pain.
The older sister shed tears at the fact that there was nothing she could do.
Even in the midst of this, neither of them showed any sign of yielding their stubbornness.
The girl, who had been ruminating over old memories, soon muttered to herself in self-deprecation.
"I did all sorts of things… to push her away."
It was definitely something to be relieved about.
Just as the snake had said.
If he could persuade her sister to turn her back, Rose could feel much more at ease.
Yes.
It definitely should have been that way.
"Why."
Why was it so painful now?
Even though she had pushed her away for the past few years, the thought of her really disappearing made her head throb.
It was hard to breathe because of the throbbing pain in her chest.
"Haa… ugh."
The reason was simple.
Just as the rose in the fairy tale did, what she had hidden behind her thorns was love.
Just as not everything pointed is hate.
Not everything round is love, and sometimes even hate can be round.
In the girl's case, it was a pointed love.
So how could she be happy?
The current situation was far from the truth she had hidden behind her petals.
She just bit her lip at the discrepancy.
'My head hurts.'
She felt suffocated.
As she clutched her stuffy chest, her thoughts turned in a deeper direction this time.
It was a fundamental question.
'Why.'
Why did it have to be her?
The curse of God.
An incurable disease that afflicted two or three people out of a hundred in a century.
What sin was she born with, that she had to bear such a heavy punishment on her back?
A dark shadow asked.
'Did it really have to be me…?'
At the same time, memories of her unlucky life and a sense of disgust began to creep up.
It was a pointed hatred.
Ten years of neither living nor dying.
The time she had been abandoned by her father, lost her place in the world, and continued her terrible struggle with the disease.
It was terribly lonely.
'An outcast.'
She had no intention of denying it.
No.
She rather agreed.
Because that was how her life had always been.
Looking back on the past years, no one had stood by her side.
The girl often thought.
Perhaps.
It would have been better if she had never been born.
"Cough…!"
A sudden cough burst out.
Her vision was blurry.
She thought it had been quiet for a while, but it seemed that a seizure was coming on without fail.
Elize rummaged through the shelf nearby.
Thud-.
What her fingertips caught was none other than a pocket knife.
The girl unwrapped the bandage around her wrist and immediately brought the blade to the exposed skin.
Immediately after, the flesh was cut.
Swish-.
A new mark was engraved over the numerous scars.
A stinging pain spread throughout her arm, and soon after, the pain of the seizure subsided.
It was a momentary measure.
Drip, drip.
Red life fell.
A dark red rose bloomed on the floor.
"······."
The girl was silent for a moment, then soon began to move the knife again.
She calmly drew on the soft flesh.
An indescribable sense of liberation.
The wound was burning and painful, but the pain-relieving effect was sweet enough to endure it.
As if possessed, she piled up the lines one after another.
—Do you truly desire such an end?
The auditory hallucination resumed at the right moment.
She bit her lip tightly.
Soon, Rose unwrapped the bandage on the other side as well.
As she was staining it with flower water without hesitation, transparent droplets fell on it one by one.
They were tears.
'When will this end?'
When will this wretched breath be cut off?
With that thought, she recklessly wielded the knife.
When she drew a long line on the white canvas and blood droplets formed between the cracks, she felt as if the seizure had stopped for a moment.
Because of this, she couldn't escape this addictive pain.
As if it affirmed a brief respite even in her trashy life.
Thud-.
Her legs lost strength.
Elize, who had collapsed just like that, blankly repeated the same action.
Flower petals fell in a regular rhythm.
Before she knew it, the surrounding floor was filled with beautiful roses.
The girl looked at the flower garden she had created and shed tears as if her emotions were overflowing even more.
Even in the midst of this, her eyes were dead.
"Sob… hng, hngh."
She drowned in the faint fragrance.
Her vision was blurred.
—I have no desire to live.
Actually.
She didn't want to die.
The pain of her internal organs being torn apart, the seizures that came every dawn, the coughing up of blood that stained her sleeves red, she hated it all.
She wanted the pain to stop.
But she knew it was impossible.
As long as she carried this curse, she couldn't escape until she died.
Droplets of dew fell.
Swish, swish-.
The noise continued for a while.
Her appearance was a mess.
Thinking that she had ruined her arms enough, this time she reached for the bandage around her neck.
Just as she was about to touch her nape while covered in blood.
"Your Highness."
Whoosh-.
There were arms that embraced her from behind.
She tried to struggle in embarrassment, but the stiff body trapped Elize as she was.
There was a gentle whispering voice in her ear.
"Shh… it's alright."
A familiar hand.
It was the boy who had been teasing her for the past few days, throwing various taunts at her.
When she turned her head, dull blond hair came into view.
"It's all okay. I'm here…"
The warmth that wrapped around her shoulders.
Rose, who had been filled with coldness, slowly lost strength as if melting into his embrace.
Clang-!
She eventually dropped the knife.
"Good. Just like this."
The snake stroked her head as it was.
It seemed to be waiting for her to calm down.
As if accepting that intention, Elize soon stopped resisting.
Only then did the boy smile.
"Please be at ease."
The two of them sat like that for a while.
Leaning on each other's warmth, they slowly cleared away the cold air.
***
After some time had passed and the intense atmosphere had subsided.
We were sitting facing each other.
It was a distance close enough for our breaths to mingle, but there was no awkward atmosphere.
It was merely contact for treatment.
I was wrapping bandages on her scarred arms.
"······."
Elize silently held out her arm.
Her wrist was a complete mess.
I couldn't even tell how many years she had been repeating this, but there were numerous marks besides the ones made today.
The texture of the skin had changed in the areas where the scars were concentrated.
I swallowed a bitter taste.
I carefully wiped away the red blood and spread disinfectant over the countless cuts.
Rose didn't even blink, even though it must have been quite stinging.
Having lived with the curse for nearly her entire life, perhaps ordinary pain didn't even register.
She was like a doll with its strings cut.
"Your Highness."
"······."
Her green eyes were looking this way.
Although they seemed to have lost focus, I kept talking to her without regard.
She must be listening.
"As your attending physician, I must say."
There were many things to discuss.
"Didn't I tell you not to harm yourself?"
"······."
"I understand that you rely on the pain-relieving effect. But it's not good for your mental health, and it's detrimental to your body's recovery."
As I spoke like I was giving advice.
Before long, I brought up the main point that I had been putting off.
Our gazes met appropriately in the air.
Her blinking green eyes.
Perhaps because she was tired, the usual venom was nowhere to be seen, and only a deeply sunken gaze remained.
I was looking through that pupil into her longing.
"Your Highness."
I needed this kind of opportunity.
A moment when she was mentally shaken and had lowered her pointed thorns.
"I'll ask you one last time."
Our faces drew closer.
After sharing a brief look, I gently lifted her chin.
It was a distance where their breaths could be felt.
As their lips were almost touching, a smile suddenly bloomed on my face.
Then I asked.
"Don't you want to live?"
This time, it was an offer she couldn't refuse.
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