Hope (1)
"Do you not wish to live?"
A casually thrown question.
Immediately after, a heavy silence falls in the room.
Looking at the blankly blinking eyes, I pulled up the corners of my mouth as gently as possible.
It was a kind smile.
'A chance··· Can I think of it that way?'
I mutter to myself.
Wiping away the tears was a somewhat calculated action.
Elize.
The girl was particularly thorny.
Her unfortunate background was enough to drag her down, and the rose gradually fell into pessimism, leaving no hope for life.
This was the reason for her unknowingly twisted personality.
Thanks to that, I was often ignored.
I tried to offer kindness several times, but the girl didn't even show a bit of interest.
She had closed her ears to the voice of the world.
That was the most difficult part.
Because will was important for treatment.
'But.'
It was different now.
Although her heart was armed with resignation, even such an iron wall was gradually cracking.
The more mentally shaken, the weaker one becomes.
A slowly widening rupture.
I had a hunch.
That it was possible now.
'I can persuade her.'
It was a chance to convey my voice.
The withered rose seemed to have no intention of raising its thorns, so I use this opportunity to take a step closer to her hidden true feelings.
The leaves that have lost their thorns can only give up their petals without strength.
"Your Highness."
I had no intention of missing the opportunity.
As I hold the warmth in my palm, I can feel the tears flowing from her cheek.
"I want to hear your true feelings."
I whisper softly.
So that the stars asleep in the night do not wake up.
"Your Highness said that you have no lingering attachment to life."
"······."
"But I didn't believe those words. Although it's only a part, I also understand your life."
"You understand··· me?"
"Yes. You may feel it's arrogant, but."
A terminal illness.
How could I not know the pain that dwells in that life?
"I haven't experienced it myself. But I have experience of losing."
"What?"
"The most precious person in my life."
"······."
"She was a child who shone like a star. At the same time, she was everything that made up my life."
I reminisce for a moment.
About the old memories that remained as the greatest pain.
-Brother!
The youthful voice ringing in my ears.
After a moment of silence, I smile at the girl in front of me.
"She was the same. She suffered from an illness for several years and eventually left my side."
Perhaps.
Did God envy that brilliant light?
The starlight that completely made up my life disappeared beyond the night sky at too young an age.
I say.
"A life lived facing death day by day."
"······."
"She told me. About how painful it is."
The end that flickers before my eyes is frightening.
The cruel fate is unfair.
The battle with illness is lonely.
The struggle is agonizing.
The approaching farewell is sad.
Recalling the words she sobbed one by one, I gently stroked the petals of the rose.
The girl now seemed to be listening.
"That's why I understand you."
Even if not entirely.
Because I had a pain that I clearly remembered for that part.
I chewed over the memories buried deep in my heart, and pronounced the sentences that followed clearly.
It was a calm tone.
"I know what Your Highness desires."
"What I··· desire?"
"You are hoping for a miracle, aren't you? Even while despairing endlessly about this life, you are also waiting for salvation."
"I'm sorry, but you're wrong."
"I see."
"Because I gave up a long time ago. The word miracle just feels like an illusion."
"That statement supports the topic I raised."
What the rose spoke of was resignation.
Not a fundamental lack.
"Resignation."
Resignation means giving up hope.
To put this sentence differently.
It means that at one time, she had hope.
If she had never had hope in the first place, the word resignation itself could not be established.
The girl in front of me was the same.
"How can there be no lingering attachment?"
It's just that she was trampled by continuous despair, but that doesn't mean that hope becomes desireless.
Rather, the abandoned hope becomes clearer.
It remains as a strong lingering attachment because it was not fulfilled.
Although she had been sitting down, blocked by the wall of reality, if a hand was held out to lift her up, she would surely grasp it.
The hope that has already been grasped.
It is not easily let go.
"Your Highness must be the same."
"······."
The rose is silent.
It was a silence that was no different from affirmation.
Normally, she would have forced a rebuttal, but perhaps because of her shaken heart, she didn't seem to have the energy to do so.
She was just looking at me with wavering eyes.
"Your Highness."
The fall was near.
I fill the pupils that do not let in light with myself, and with a careful hand, I remove the despair entangled in the flower.
It was a word of hope that she had forgotten for a long time.
"I will give you a miracle."
A voice that rings hazily.
As if enchanted by a dream, as if submerged in a wave, the rose slowly permeates between the sentences.
"I can promise everything. I can fulfill the hope that you had to give up."
I pull it out.
The sentence that she had repeated countless times, that she wanted to die. I find the true feelings of the girl hidden beyond that.
In the dust-covered space, only a short monologue remains.
A single line of monologue that says.
I want to live.
"Just take my hand."
A hand gently held out.
As I quietly wait for an answer, I see the red-haired girl frozen in a daze.
Her green eyes were shaking wildly.
They seemed to be gradually filling with moisture, and soon thick tears began to fall.
Elize drops her head to the floor as if her strength had left her.
"Why on earth."
A murmur that goes astray for a moment.
It seemed to be asking why.
Why I was clinging so tenaciously.
Why I kept giving her hope when she thought she had let go of everything.
It was a question that was not a question.
"Because."
I answer without hesitation.
I.
You all.
The world.
The ending of this story.
"I want you to be happy."
That one sentence rings out clearly.
It was filled with only sincerity.
I draw a faint smile on my lips.
The rose, which had not been able to continue the answer for a while, then leans her head against me as if falling. Her body temperature, which reached my chest with a soft thud, is imbued with a belated warmth.
"......You're strange, until the end."
"Am I?"
"Yeah."
A quiet reply returns.
I lightly stroke her leaning head.
Unlike before, she didn't push me away.
Over the hand that offered hope, a bandaged hand was now overlapped.
I smile softly.
"You don't have to worry."
Because I will take care of everything.
Behind the words whispered in her ear, the disheveled rose closed her eyes.
***
Elize.
The girl knew her own misfortune.
Because she was a child who had swallowed a curse.
A disease known to be incurable by magic, medicine, or divine power...
Having faced the harsh reality since she was young, the rose did not dare to harbor a wish for a miracle.
Instead, she let go of everything.
That was the natural thing to do in her world.
-My name is Judas Snakus, and I will be serving as Your Highness's physician from today.
A strange person.
Elize didn't like the boy.
The way he fiddled with her while she was tied up.
Aside from the first impression, which was nothing short of the worst, the fact that he kept smiling bothered her.
She was annoyed by the way he prattled on, telling her not to give up on life.
-I will help you.
When he knows nothing.
When he doesn't even understand.
She wished he wouldn't give her hope so carelessly.
Because her heart was already trampled and torn.
During all that time of suffering, she had stopped all the struggles she had, and was preparing for everything to disappear meaninglessly.
She didn't want to be shaken by vain hope now.
But.
-I want to hear your true feelings.
She was shaken.
Her heart fluttered when she heard those words.
-I understand you.
The body temperature that melted her cold body.
The hand that wiped away her tears.
The kindness of bandaging her wounds.
The feeling of peace whenever she leaned her back, and the curse's pain disappearing from the world, even if only for a moment.
Although she had been turning away, calling it a vain hope.
-I will give you a miracle.
Yes.
She had to admit it.
About hope.
She thought she had definitely let go, but the broken fragments remained at her fingertips.
It was a lingering attachment that she hadn't even noticed herself.
-Just take my hand.
-Because I want you all... to be happy.
Elize eventually grabbed the hand in front of her.
As if possessed by something.
Who could not be broken by the hope they had so desperately wanted?
The rose, who had been preparing for death every day, was ultimately just a girl who had not yet reached adulthood.
Eventually, she made a resolution.
To believe in hope, for the very last time.
"I lost."
Lying in bed, Elize suddenly said that.
Nearby, the snake was sitting.
He was perched on the bed, ostensibly for treatment, watching the rose buried in the blanket.
Was it because of the body temperature that seemed to be touching, yet not quite?
Feeling the presence beside her, the girl speaks in a much more relaxed atmosphere.
"I told you. I lost."
"What do you mean?"
"Do as you please. From now on, even if you touch me roughly, cling to me stickily, or rummage around roughly, I won't resist at all."
"That's a very concerning statement."
"You said you would make my hope come true."
"Anything for the sake of treatment... Is that the feeling?"
"Do as you please."
The rose says she will refrain from resisting in the future.
Perhaps he was secretly pleased by that reaction, the boy gently strokes her red hair.
Immediately after, he smiles at the lifeless leaves.
"I have no intention of treating you roughly. I take care of anyone who enters my territory with great care."
"Well... we'll see in time."
"You are right."
The two exchange light chatter.
As they were spending time like that, the rose suddenly asks a question.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Help... Now that you mention it, there was something I need your cooperation with."
"What is it?"
Elize slowly raises her head.
She shows interest.
Perhaps because her will to recover has been revived, the girl was approaching somewhat proactively.
The rose was completely unable to foresee the future.
"You need to prepare to leave."
"Leave?"
"Because I intend to escape this prison-like place."
"Huh...?"
Elize is taken aback by the sudden statement.
On the other hand, the snake shows no sign of wavering.
The boy adds with a bright smile.
"We're going to the Academy. All of us together."
The birdcage that had confined the rose.
It was a word that shattered the loneliness of the past ten years.
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