.
.
Bubble, bubble…
The sound of air bubbles escaping my lips reached my ears.
A strange sense of weightlessness enveloped me.
Reality felt distant and distorted.
I opened my eyes, my vision swimming.
“...”
A vast, black abyss stretched out before me.
I had seen this dreamscape countless times before. It was a familiar nightmare.
I sighed, pushing my hair away from my face.
“Haah… Why am I here again…?”
This strange dream always seemed to appear at random, filled with whispers and shadows, but devoid of meaning.
I frowned, about to dismiss it as another meaningless figment of my imagination…
“Hey, that’s not very nice! Calling us meaningless!”
“Yeah, have some respect.”
“...?”
I paused, my frown deepening.
I lifted my head, my eyes drawn to the source of the voices.
Two young boys stood before me.
They waved at me, their expressions unreadable.
“Long time no see, huh?”
“It’s been almost half a month.”
They greeted me casually.
I stared at them, my confusion mounting.
‘What…?’
I had experienced this dream many times before, but…
This had never happened.
“Well, the ‘wall’ that was blocking us is gone now… So there’s nothing holding us back anymore.”
“You know, that Iron Will skill of yours.”
The wall…
So the ‘wall’ they had warned me about before, the one I needed to break down… was my Iron Will skill?
I tried to process the information, my mind struggling to keep up.
As I stared at them, my expression a mixture of confusion and apprehension, one of the boys, who bore a striking resemblance to Raiden, shrugged.
“Well… We can explain all that later. For now, let’s focus on what’s important.”
“We’ve been watching you, you know.”
“Things aren’t looking so good…”
“Rachel… She’s pitiful. Reminds me of Jih-ye noona.”
Rachel.
Her name, spoken so casually, stole my breath away.
-You promised you wouldn’t leave…
-You’re… You’re everything to me, Young Master…
The memory of her words, filled with desperation and anguish, flashed before my eyes.
A familiar pain stabbed at my chest. I grimaced, my expression hardening.
Naru, his face filled with sympathy, reached out to me.
“Don’t blame yourself… It couldn’t be helped.”
His words, meant to comfort me, sounded like accusations to my ears.
As if he were blaming me for everything that had happened.
Anger flared within me.
Even though I knew this was just a dream, I couldn’t hold back my rage.
“Shut up.”
What did he know?
How dare he presume to understand what I was going through?
The grief, the guilt, the crushing weight of responsibility.
He knew nothing of the darkness that had consumed me.
“…I’m not blaming you.”
Naru looked at me, his eyes filled with concern.
But his sympathy only made me feel worse.
My legs gave way, and I collapsed to the ground.
“I… I don’t know what to do…”
What was the right thing to do?
How could I possibly face Rachel, face Ariel, knowing the pain I had caused them?
“I’m not Raiden… No matter how hard I try, that will never change.”
Their love wasn’t meant for me.
It was meant for Raiden.
I was nothing but an imposter, a fraud who had stumbled into their lives.
A hollow ache spread through my chest.
“I didn’t want to deceive them… So I did what I thought was best.”
Disappearing.
Pushing away their love.
“…Even if I stayed, I could never truly belong in this world.”
My words echoed through the empty void.
My eyes burned, tears threatening to spill.
But before they could fall, Raiden spoke.
“Are you sure about that?”
He tilted his head, his expression unreadable.
He tapped his lips with his finger, his gaze unwavering.
“Are you absolutely certain?”
“What…?”
“You said it yourself, didn’t you? That you’re just a parasite wearing Raiden’s skin. Are you sure that’s all you are?”
I frowned, confused by his words.
He circled me, his movements slow and deliberate.
“We told you, remember? Don’t forget.”
“Forget what?”
“Don’t you remember? We told you, we’re not so different.”
“No…”
Of course I remembered.
Those cryptic words, repeated over and over again.
I had dismissed them as nonsense.
But now…
“Why would you say that?”
“…”
“Do you still believe that you and Raiden are two separate entities?”
“…Just spit it out!”
He didn’t react to my outburst.
His lips curled into a knowing smile.
He paused for a moment, as if savoring the anticipation, before speaking.
“Let me make this clear. Listen closely, Kim Naru… No, Raiden.”
You’re not a fake.
You’re not some parasite who stole an empty shell.
You’ve always lived your life as a true and genuine being.
“How’s that? Making sense now?”
He winked, a playful smirk on his face.
I, on the other hand, could only stare at him in shock.
His words hit me like a bolt of lightning, shattering the foundations of everything I thought I knew.
He leaned closer, his voice a low whisper in my ear.
“That’s right.”
It was never possession.
“…You were reincarnated, Raiden.”
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I mean, it was obvious that he was Raiden, died, reincarnated as Naru, died and reincarnated as Raiden again
ReplyDeleteor something like that, maybe while almost dying as Raiden he just remembered his life as Naru? the order doesn't matter in the end
but ... FINALLY IT IS SAID! finally it isn't just hinting that Naru and Raiden are the same person!
So the novel title is now a lie?
ReplyDeleteQuite a big lie
DeleteTo be fair, Raiden as a narrator is absolutely unreliable, so the title beinga lie is the least surprising thing
DeleteFinally some more story progression. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for the chapters depicting his level of depression, but maybe not all as one info dump? Speaking as someone who's also diagnosed with severe depression, it can only carry the story so far on its own.
ReplyDeleteO.M.G.!! So Raiden and Kim Naru were actually One and The Same? Now that's what I call "An mind-blowing, unexpected revelation". I think when Raiden died after falling from a cliff, He reincarnated into The Real World as Kim Naru without His Past Memories. And when Kim Naru died in The Real World, His Soul got reincarnated back into His Original Body as Raiden. I hope this revelation might help Raiden/Naru to clear all His doubts and find a way to recover from His depression and identity crisis.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I was concerned with the people who commented on MC mental state and attempting to dissect him. This is a psychological AND tragedy novel, people. If you're not going into mental health career, you're standing on a slope. This is a novel, please don't confuse it with reality. We came here to enjoy reading, symphatize with MC/story, and go on with our life. Even if your mental health is as strong as a fortress, there's no reason to chip down its wall. Life is hard enough.
ReplyDeleteNow let's go on with this chapter review, wow. I suspect Raiden and Naru is same people since the beginning, and the appearance of both Naru and Raiden in MC mentalscape just confirm it for me. This chapter is just *chef kiss* in its revelation timing. Wonder what's going to happen next.
This comment is mostly about all the previous comment in previous chapter (and I mean all the chapters before this chapter). If you're reading this and thinking I'm replying on this specific chapter, its not true. I'm just worried about you all. Stay healthy, people. Keep it up.
DeleteHow could I possibly face Rachel, face Ariel, knowing the pain I had caused them?
ReplyDeleteNow he has his conscience