Drunkard (4)
What is responsibility?
The woman with the clear eyes speaks of her intentions.
“While I lay in bed, I thought. I’ve lived a life no different from a blind person, blinded by my foolishness. So, at least I should tie the knot myself at the end…”
Tears streamed down her face.
Did they represent regret? Or perhaps self-loathing?
Maybe it was both, I thought.
“I know I’m not worthy. But still, I wanted to ask.”
It was more of a plea than a request.
An adult swayed by blind love, shackled by longing, yet she wanted to choose her own ending.
A vow not to abandon today with the excuse of yesterday.
Selena’s tears gazed towards a tomorrow that wouldn't exist.
She said,
“Please… let me end this.”
A brief silence followed.
Where did her characteristically cold demeanor go?
When did her indifferent attitude shatter?
Only a single flower withered before my eyes.
Her haggard complexion only grew more decadent.
Adulthood was so pathetic.
Just like I was.
I couldn’t shake off the reflection of myself from a certain time, captured in her pupils.
Amidst the heavy mixture of sorrow and emptiness, I gave my answer.
“If that is truly your will.”
A single sentence granting her the ending she sought.
A faint smile touched the Drunkard’s lips.
“…Student Judas, you’re a truly good person.”
The woman clutched the sheets tightly.
There was no light in her red eyes.
Yet, beyond the cloudy surface, I was reflected.
Only I existed in Selena’s world.
“Thank you.”
It was the first time.
That someone other than her younger sister had existed for her.
“You might think it’s disgusting… but what I said that night at the banquet, that you were my first, wasn’t a lie.”
It was the first time she had been this close to another person.
The first time she had danced with a man.
The first time she had been held in someone's arms, felt their languid warmth.
The first time she had relied on someone other than her sister.
Everything.
“Everything. Every single thing.”
“…”
“All my firsts were yours.”
The sinner's confession was excessively precarious.
As if it would pour out at any moment.
Rustle-.
The woman raised herself from the bed.
She took a shaky step onto the floor.
Her strength hadn’t returned, but where was she going? She draped a thin coat over her hospital gown.
It was a woefully insufficient outfit to face the winter outside the window.
One layer peeled away would reveal her delicate skin.
But.
Still, the Drunkard moved her legs.
Towards the outside of the pristine white hospital room.
“…I’ll be going now.”
With those words.
The woman opened the door.
I watched her receding figure for a long time.
Until the shimmering afterimage finally disappeared.
It was already…
A memory passing through three days.
***
After the conversation with the Snake.
The Drunkard immediately left the Academy and headed towards the Cultists’ headquarters.
It was their laboratory, the very place she had been granted access to as a collaborator.
The personal space of the guy who had introduced himself as the [Puppeteer]… It was also used as a branch of Baob.
Inside, materials and results from experiments were piled up.
In short, a warehouse of data.
Selena stood in the center of that warehouse.
“…”
Crackle, crackle-.
The acrid smell of burning filled her nose.
Crimson flames leaped and danced.
The laboratory was ablaze. Dark red blood stained the floor.
The bodies of dark mages and chimeras were strewn across the hallway.
A sudden betrayal from within.
It was the Drunkard’s doing.
She had eliminated the personnel in the laboratory and was burning the data one by one.
Her shallow breaths disappeared into the heat.
“Ha…”
The lab hadn’t been prepared for the surprise attack.
The attacker was a professor, after all.
Even if her abilities weren’t suited for combat, Selena was still a member of the Gallimard Academy.
A senior member of the continent’s top educational institution.
She was capable of single-handedly taking down a branch.
Of course.
It came at the cost of severe injuries and exhaustion.
The woman staggered, her appearance tattered.
Even as she coughed up blood from her throat, her hands steadily disposed of the data.
Stacks of documents were thrown into the flames amidst the blood, corpses, and fire.
Crackle, crackle-.
‘I wonder how much good this will do.’
Selena knew.
That it was meaningless.
The Cultists were an organization of unimaginable scale. They even had connections with various noble families.
The loss of a few documents wouldn’t be a significant blow.
Just a small delay.
A moth to the flame, so to speak.
‘But still.’
She wanted to deal with her own mistakes herself.
She wanted to excise at least a little of her guilt.
‘Is this atonement?’
The woman shook her head.
She had no intention of dressing herself up with pretty words.
However.
‘The Academy.’
The place that had become her new home.
The affection she realized far too late.
She wanted to ward off the evil that might reach them, even just a little.
Spilled water couldn’t be gathered, but before every day was soaked in it, she wanted to wipe away the spreading crimson stain.
The woman moved her hands.
She didn't borrow anyone else's hands.
Because she believed she had to tie this knot herself.
The Drunkard burned, and burned, and burned.
“…This is the last one.”
The last remaining document.
Her hand paused for a moment.
Blood and soot stained the surface of the yellowed paper.
Selena’s dirty hand caressed the data.
[Selena Drunkard]
Her name was written there.
It was a record of her own research.
Transcending providence through stars and demonic energy.
The project name was Revival.
The record of the days when she had sought to bring back her younger sister, the goal she had considered her life’s purpose for so long.
Was it because of a certain voice echoing in her ears?
Her hand wouldn't move easily.
‘Lianne…’
If she abandoned even this…
It felt like she would truly be accepting the fact that Lianne was gone.
The creeping feeling clutched at her sleeve.
Are you really going to give up?
Think again.
Don’t you want to see her smile one last time?
The piercing longing and regret whispered to her.
But.
‘I’m sorry.’
The Drunkard rejected them.
The lingering attachment she had held onto for so long.
Her wavering eyes gave the document one last caress before pushing the bundle of papers into the flames.
In that instant, it turned to ash and scattered before she could even dwell on it.
Reduced to ashes.
“I’ll be coming to see you soon, too…sister.”
She pleaded for forgiveness along with her flowing tears.
She had finally let her sister go.
Only a lingering emptiness rippled through her hollow heart.
It was over.
She had left a letter for the Headmaster, confessing her betrayal and her collusion with the Cultists.
She believed her teacher would handle it properly.
Part of her felt guilty.
She had been consumed by Lianne’s death, but he had been like family to her, too.
The memories of the time the three of them spent together were still vivid.
-Would you consider learning magic under me?
The benefactor who had saved her from the bottom of the barrel.
All she had given him in return was betrayal.
The particularly bitter aftertaste made her frown, but she forced down the churning emotions and regret.
Apologizing at the end of the road she had taken would be meaningless.
Selena turned around with resignation.
“…”
Dark red robes stood behind her.
Each one aimed magic at her.
It seemed reinforcements had arrived from another branch.
At the forefront was an executive she had occasionally interacted with.
“A traitor’s betrayal… I suppose guilt finally caught up to you?”
The executive said with a frown.
The blatant hostility was palpable.
The difference in power was insurmountable.
Her stamina was already depleted. Her body was battered. Her heart ached from the Oath of Mana.
Resistance, or even a fight, was meaningless for the Drunkard now.
Soon after.
Thud-.
Her legs gave way.
The woman had reached her limit.
As she knelt on the spot, the approaching robes subdued her.
Selena’s arms were twisted violently, and kicks rained down on her.
Yet, her gaze remained serene.
Slap-!
The executive slapped the Drunkard’s cheek.
Her vision flashed for a moment.
As she registered the burning pain, a question followed, echoing in her ears.
A question laced with incomprehension.
“Why did you betray us? We thought our interests aligned. Didn’t you want to save your sister?”
The Drunkard answered hoarsely.
Her split lip caused blood to mingle with her words.
“I wanted to save her… I desperately did, back then. Or perhaps, even until now…”
“Then I understand even less.”
Well.
There wasn’t any particularly special reason.
“…It’s just that, I sobered up.”
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