Meeting Van Gogh (13)
“Cough! Cough!”
Blood splatters from Van Gogh’s mouth. The blood spreading from his clutched side stains his brown shirt dark.
Startled, René trembles and rushes to Van Gogh, trying to stop the bleeding from his side.
“Mister!”
René screams, not in his right mind.
“No! No, Mister! I'm sorry, I forgot it was loaded, hurry! Let's go to the hospital quickly, Mister!”
Van Gogh swallows blood and looks at the boy. He silently watches the child and then pushes René away.
“Go.”
“Mister!”
“Hide the gun on your way.”
“What?”
“You're just a teenager. If it gets out that you caused a gun accident, you'll go to jail.”
“…….”
The child just gulps down saliva. To a boy of this age, jail is a terrifying place, so such a reaction is understandable.
But soon, René starts shaking his head and crying.
“No! No, Mister! I'm fine! I did wrong, so I should be punished. Let's go to the hospital with me!”
Van Gogh silently pushes the clinging boy away, then shakily gathers his painting supplies and hands them to the boy.
“This.”
“Why this!”
“It's yours now.”
“Mister!”
“Take the paint… and the brushes… all of it.”
“Please, Mister!”
“I need to… clean up… here.”
“Clean up later! Let's go to the hospital first, Mister!”
“René, listen to me. What did I say about candles earlier?”
“…….”
René hugs Van Gogh while crying.
“Waaaah!!”
“René, do you remember the story I told you?”
René, tearfully, says,
“A candle burns itself to bring light to others! Even if one candle lights many others, the first candle's light does not fade! Mister, you burn yourself to love life! Waaaah!”
Van Gogh nods his head as if to say well done and strokes René's head.
“Cough! Gurgle! You have a good memory. Whatever you do, you'll do well. Always live with hope. And René. Make sure to hide the gun well, okay?”
“Waaaah!!”
“Now, go quickly. Take Mister's painting supplies too.”
“Mister! Mister!”
“Go fast!”
Van Gogh shouts like thunder. The crying child, startled, falls backward. Then, terrified, René runs into the bushes.
I watch all this, my face contorted.
‘Was I just watching a child being framed for a crime?’
It wasn't suicide, but an accident.
And Van Gogh remained silent about the accident to protect a child.
Watching the departing child, Van Gogh, struggling, gets up and starts to tidy the area.
Holding his bleeding side, Van Gogh cleans up to show nothing happened here, not stopping until he collapses from exhaustion.
Finally, Van Gogh falls to the ground, gasping for breath.
Every breath he takes causes blood to surge from his side.
Van Gogh’s eyes gaze at the blue autumn sky.
His murmurs are heard.
“For some reason, when I look at the stars, I dream.”
The sky is too bright for stars, but Van Gogh murmurs as if he sees a shower of stars.
He slowly closes his eyes.
“Winter waits for spring, and spring walks towards winter. Life becomes stronger when its end is remembered.”
Is he thinking of ending it like this?
Van Gogh doesn't move for a long time.
How many hours have passed? I keep watching the motionless Van Gogh. Just then, I thought Van Gogh had lost consciousness, but his lips part and a name is heard.
"Theo."
It's his brother's name.
After saying his brother's name, Van Gogh uses all his strength to sit up.
"Brother... I must repay him... I can't go on like this. I owe Theo too much."
Van Gogh begins to crawl.
A trail of blood forms in the golden wheat field. And as he crawls to the roadside where people pass, he mutters continuously.
"Theo... Theo..."
Van Gogh's figure, crawling through the wheat field, murmuring his brother's name to the end.
I watched him, tears streaming down my face.
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