Wandering (6)
I stopped by my regular butcher shop to buy the highest grade Korean beef, which I then grilled in the garden at home.
I brought out my mother and brother, who were feeling upset in their rooms.
"Alright, today I'll be in charge of grilling the meat, so mom and brother, just sit back and enjoy."
"No, let me do the grilling. You must be really tired these days."
"Why do you say that? Don't you know why your son is doing this?"
"……"
Why is it so hard to say I'm sorry? But it must be done. The closer people are to you, the more you shouldn't hold back words of gratitude and apology.
"I'm sorry, mom. I shouldn't have lost my temper."
"It's okay, I'm fine."
"What do you mean fine? Apologizing to strangers and being scolded by your own child. Mom, you've done nothing wrong. It's all my fault. I've been stressed, so please understand."
"Okay. I'm fine, so go ahead and eat."
"See, I'm grilling. Sit down, sit. Brother, you eat a lot too. This is two plus grade Korean beef."
My brother sat expressionless.
But I know. When he's like this, it's because he's feeling awkward.
With the tongs, I picked up a large piece of meat, cut it with scissors, dipped it in sesame oil with salt, and fed it to my brother.
"How is it? Melting in your mouth, right?"
At first startled when something suddenly entered his mouth, my brother soon started chewing, lured by the savory scent of the beef, and then he burst into a grin.
"Delicious."
"Right? I specially requested it from the butcher. Eat a lot, there's plenty of meat."
"Okay."
"Brother, how's your work these days?"
It's better to naturally talk about family matters. As we start talking in earnest, mom, who had been insisting on grilling the meat, takes her seat.
Seeing my brother fumbling on the table, mom hands him lettuce and pulls a plate of cooked meat in front of him. He wraps the meat in lettuce and eats, his face expressing happiness.
"People are so nice, and it's a comfortable environment because similar people are gathered. The company takes great care of us."
Of course, the company is probably doing it to enhance their brand image through the employment of disabled people. But it's better not to mention such things to my brother.
"Is that so? How are your colleagues?"
"Everyone's nice. There's an occasional gloomy person, but we're getting along."
"Any women?"
"Women? Of course."
"Someone you like?"
"Still on about that?"
"Haha, okay. Eat. Mom, you too."
After making sure my brother has eaten, mom wraps meat in lettuce and feeds me.
Chewing the wrap in front of the fire, I feel a sense of relief. Indeed, my family is the best.
"Mom, hurry up and eat."
"Okay."
After making sure her grown-up children are fed, mom finally takes a bite. How could I have been angry and yelled at such a mother? I must be a fool and an ingrate.
I looked up at the night sky.
Although it's better than Seoul, stars are still hardly visible here. Just the black sky with the light of satellites and a big moon.
But the sky viewed while grilling meat in my home garden with my family is still very beautiful.
'Right, let's control my mind.'
What good does it do to get angry?
What good does it do to get heated?
That's how the world is.
But unfortunately, the world does not flow smoothly just by controlling my emotions.
* * *
In front of the TV in the second-floor living room.
I sat alone on the sofa, staring blankly at the TV.
It's been four days since I've left the house. Why?
Every day, fans of Yonghan and reporters have been coming after my home address got leaked.
Fans come in the morning, camp in front of the door, and wait until I come out, leaving only at night. The reporters are even worse.
They park their cars around the house and sleep there.
Two of them pair up, one keeping watch. What are they even doing, acting like detectives?
And now, the TV I'm watching.
Yonghan appears on a talk show on the screen.
The MC cautiously asks him a question.
“There was some trouble with cartoonist Ban Jeong-hoon recently. Have you made up?”
Yonghan licks his lips, bites them, clearly a victim's face, then pretends to think for a moment before speaking in a dying voice.
“I tried to apologize, even called him.”
"I saw in the article. Painter Ban Jeong-hoon did not accept the apology request."
Yonghan scratches his head and says,
"I wanted to apologize for making an irritating comment, but he was very angry. He shouted, and I was so startled that... he hung up the phone unilaterally, so I couldn't properly apologize."
"He shouted and hung up unilaterally?"
"Well... It's hard to say this, but I was a bit like that too. I even called first, but he reacted like that."
"Of course. It doesn't seem like you did anything terribly wrong, so I don't understand why he reacted so sensitively."
As the MC sympathizes with him, Yonghan rather tries to stop him.
"No, we shouldn't go in that direction. I think I was arrogant. Painter Ban Jeong-hoon is a well-respected figure in Europe, and I think I was too arrogant in front of him, which might have upset him. I apologize again here."
"But wasn't it too much to assault the fans?"
Yonghan sighs and says,
"Yes, that was a bit too much. It's okay for him to do that to me, but hearing that he did that to the fans makes me feel bad too."
"I hope it all gets resolved well."
"Yes, let's talk about something else now."
"Shall we?"
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