They're not approaching me for my skills.
If someone wanted to apply my skills to a film, I'd gladly do it.
I've always wanted to try my hand at film art direction.
But they just want to use me for marketing.
To attach the title 'featuring a famous painter' to attract more audience.
Of course, it's a commercial film, so it's natural to pursue profit, but I don't like those conditions.
"If they call again, say no to the marketing part. If they don't like it, let's refuse."
"Uh? This could bring in quite a lot of revenue. They said you could have full control of the art team and even use company staff."
"Oh, is that so?"
Ah, another dilemma.
It's not just about my personal career, but the company's as well.
"Then, I can't help it. Say we'll do it."
"Okay, Sir. I’ll go get the additional script from the assistant director. The writer mentioned there was an addendum."
“Ah, but aren't you tired doing this?”
“It’s a job I’m paid for, after all.”
“You didn’t join the company to become a manager.”
“Haha, Director Seo Youngju gives me an extra allowance while I’m doing this job. It’s equivalent to an overseas business trip allowance, so I earn more than double my salary, hehe.”
“Is that so…”
The guy looks thrilled. Well, at least he’s getting paid well for his work. Youngju wouldn’t miss something like this, especially since she’s the one who complains about black companies.
“Go ahead, then.”
After he leaves, a stream of famous MCs and celebrity guests from TV shows come to greet me. I’m not their senior or anything, yet they’re all so polite.
They probably think of me as an artist, not a celebrity. Maybe they’re hoping for some benefits, seeing as I’m gaining fame these days.
Hah, even the people who come to greet me out of kindness seem off-putting.
It must be the fatigue from my excessive schedule.
I close my eyes for a moment to rest, then start reading the additional script he brought me.
Today’s shooting involves sitting with the MC and guests, watching a VCR, and chatting. It's a program concept about a male celebrity, who used to be an idol, being recognized in the art world and holding an exhibition.
Yeah, it’s fine to hear my opinion about art.
The problem is that their interest isn’t there.
The program starts, and after exchanging greetings, they start asking me questions.
“Mr. Artist! Do you really drive a Ferrari Roma?”
“Ah, yes.”
“I heard that the CEO of Rosellini gifted it to you. Is that true?”
“Ah, yes…”
Monica had once sent a gift from Italy. It was a brand-new, bright red Ferrari Roma.
I was so surprised to see this incredible car in the parking lot when I went to the office.
Of course, I can’t drive it now. I commute in my manager’s car, and I’ve only driven the Ferrari once with Young-Ju on the second day I got it. Since then, it’s just been parked in front of my house, covered in dust.
A comedian-turned-celebrity makes a fuss.
“Wow, a Ferrari Roma! Riding in one is my dream. I once asked a rental company, and they asked for two million won per day, so I gave up. What does it feel like to drive something like that?”
A female idol group member asks with clasped hands.
“I heard you’re close with the famous pianist Irina. What kind of clothes does she usually buy? Whose dress was she wearing at the last fashion show launch? Do you dine together and talk personally?”
The MC speaks next.
“There was news in the Italian media about a painting you did in Palermo. A tycoon offered to buy it for 500 million won but failed. What’s it like living as a famous painter?”
I’ve only driven the Ferrari Roma once.
How would I know what brand Irina wears?
Living as a famous artist sucks.
I suppress the urge to swear that wells up in my throat.
Saying the wrong thing here could ruin not just me but our company as well.
I awkwardly smile and say,
“I’ve actually only driven the Ferrari once, too busy. Irina probably wears clothes gifted by Monica, and while it’s nice to see my paintings priced high, I don’t want to focus too much on money.”
A polite and humble answer.
Far from what I honestly want to say, but it’s the correct response.
The panelists and MC find my answer uninteresting, but since I’m not a professional entertainer, they understand and move on to the next topic.
The VCR starts, and I watch an entertainer, supposedly doing contemporary art, smearing paint without any discernible meaning or form, and my spirit starts to drift away.
‘When will this end?’
* * *
At a restaurant in Paju.
“Hey, why are you drinking so fast? Take it slow.”
I push away the soju glass and pour soju into the beer glass, about to drink again when Youngju stops me.
It’s been 8 weeks. Today, for the first time in 8 weeks, I finished work at 9 pm.
Suddenly coming back at a time when people are around, I felt awkward going home. So, I stopped by the office, met Youngju, who was working overtime, and asked her out for a drink.
My kind friend, busy with her own work, didn’t refuse my request and now listens to my complaints.
I shake off Young-Ju’s hand and down the shot, wiping my mouth with my sleeve, muttering,
“Just leave it, I need to drink to survive.”
"…Are you having a tough time?"
"Somewhat."
Even with a close friend, it feels wrong to just unload complaints. What did Young-ju do to deserve this?
I didn’t invite her just because I didn't want to drink alone or to ask her to listen to my stories.
After eating a spoonful of lung stew as a side dish, I ask.
"Did you hire more employees?"
Young-ju nods and takes a sip of soju.
"Yeah, twenty more."
"So, how many in total now?"
"Including you, thirty-five."
"Wow, we've grown."
"Yeah, but even with the new guys, we're struggling to cover the flood of work. Our schedule is packed till the end of next year."
"Really?"
"It's all thanks to our great CEO. Seeing how well things are rolling, I feel like following you was the right choice."
"……."
Yes, that's right.
If only I live like this, thirty-four others can live abundantly and happily without me.
Young-ju watches me silently drink again and asks cautiously.
"Is it very hard?"
"……."
I finish the remaining soju and give a bitter smile.
"No, I'm fine."
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