"Right, synchronization..."
To think that the possession perk they threw at me was a process of forcibly merging my consciousness with Raiden's.
It was a moment when I truly yearned for death.
With Raiden's obsession and self-loathing added on top of my already fragile mental state, I felt like I was about to burst with depression.
As I tried to manage my emotions and organize my thoughts,
-Ding!
[Skill 'Iron Will' nullifies the user's negative emotions (depression, lethargy, suicidal urges, etc.).]
-Ding!
[The user's negative emotions resist 'Iron Will'.]
[The effects of 'Iron Will' are partially reduced.]
[The user's depression and suicidal urges are weakened but not eliminated.]
What's this now...?
I frowned at the blue screens that appeared before me.
"Status window. Explain 'Iron Will'."
-Ding!
[Iron Will]
Category: Skill
Rank: EX
Description: A special skill directly bestowed upon the user by ○○, boasting the highest performance among mental barriers.
Effect: Blocks 99% of mental status ailments (suggestion, intimidation, brainwashing, negative emotions, etc.) directed at the user.
However, status ailments that exceed 'Iron Will' cannot be completely blocked.
"......"
No wonder I felt refreshed and clear-headed.
Some unheard-of skill was suppressing my lethargy and suicidal urges.
It was nice not to feel depressed, but... it felt a bit strange.
'More importantly, an EX rank skill...'
An EX rank skill.
Even in the novel 'Sorrow-erasing heroes', an EX rank skill never appeared.
It was only mentioned in passing, saying that such a rank existed after SSS rank.
Even the highest-ranked skill the protagonist possessed was only SSS rank.
[However, status ailments that exceed 'Iron Will' cannot be completely blocked.]
I chuckled at that message.
There couldn't possibly be a status ailment that could break through an EX rank mental barrier...
[The user's negative emotions resist 'Iron Will'.]
[The user's depression and suicidal urges are weakened but not eliminated.]
"......There is?"
It seemed my condition was more serious than I thought.
No, even with the combined depression of two people, could it be this bad...?
An obsession that pierces through an EX rank mental barrier.
'Now I understand why I received this skill...'
If it weren't for 'Iron Will', wouldn't I have tried to bite my tongue and commit suicide again the moment I woke up in the forest?
Actually, thinking about it, I think I really tried to do that at first...
"But I'm glad."
I wasn't sure if it was thanks to this skill, but my mind was much more peaceful compared to my previous life.
It felt a bit precarious, but I could consider this state to be good.
It was much better than being consumed by thoughts of death every day.
"Hmm."
With my improved mood, I continued reading the status window.
Among the numerous blue screens, one message stood out.
[The possession perk 'Synchronization' has been successfully completed.]
Seeing that, my excitement seemed to subside.
I quietly pondered the words on the screen, lost in thought.
Raiden, whom I had simply considered a "one-time refreshing development sacrificial lamb", was a character with a story.
A boy whose life was twisted by trauma and obsession.
I felt a sense of kinship with him.
'Raiden... You must have been through a lot...'
It was a completely different type of pain from what I had experienced.
Unlike me, whose life was ruined by a crazy father,
Raiden had ruined the world he loved with his own hands.
Of course, I felt that Raiden was foolish, but
My sympathy for his pain and loneliness was greater.
It was ironic that I, of all people, was sympathizing with someone else...
"Mmm..."
As I was lost in self-deprecation, the girl who had her head buried in the bed let out a faint sigh.
Realizing that it was a sign of her waking up, I stopped thinking and looked down at her.
Soon, the girl's eyes opened, revealing hazy brown irises.
They blinked weakly for a moment before focusing on me as I sat up.
I spoke softly to those transparent glass beads.
"You're awake."
What expression would Raiden have made here?
Not the Raiden wearing the mask of a delinquent, but the real 'Raiden'...
With that thought in mind, I gently curved my lips upward.
It felt awkward.
Smiling was indeed difficult.
"Good morning, Rachel."
A gentle greeting.
The girl stared at me blankly for a moment, then let out a deep sigh and slumped back down.
"What... It's a dream."
Rachel mumbled, burying her head back into the bed.
I tilted my head at her reaction.
Why was she acting like that? Was my smile that awkward?
"It's not a dream."
"It is a dream~ There's no way the Young Master would smile at me like that..."
The girl's eyes looked inexplicably sad.
"Maybe three years ago, but the Young Master now..."
Her darkening complexion seemed to represent her sadness.
The blue pupils, filled with affection and compassion, shone brightly.
My heart ached at her dejected expression, so I reached out to her without thinking.
And then.
"Huh?"
Squeeze...!
I pulled on her plump cheek.
"Eeeeek!!"
A soft, squishy sensation lingered on my fingertips.
I felt a twinge of nostalgia.
Rachel used to love it when Raiden pinched her cheeks like this.
"Y-Young Masteeer...?"
As I was lost in the memories I had absorbed, I felt the stretched cheek mumble something.
Confused brown eyes stared at me.
"Huh? It hurts? It's not... a dream...?"
"I told you it was me. Are you deaf, Ray?"
Rachel's pupils widened once again.
Ray was Raiden's nickname for her when he was young.
It must be surprising to hear the name he hadn't uttered since becoming a delinquent.
I chuckled at the dumbfounded expression on the girl's face.
And then I greeted her once more.
"Good morning, Ray."
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Damn.... The depression which exceeded EX rank? 🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chapter
This might be too early to say but sometimes I wish this is not a fleet but only a ship. I know it's a harem but damn Rachel already won my heart.
ReplyDeleteIdk it’s alittle to weird to me when novels like this do the whole synchronization thing. I much prefer when the transmigrated person has their own personality and such. Kinda of a turn off for me might drop this let’s see
ReplyDeleteIt’s like it makes me cringe seeing them try to act like the person they took over and I can only handle so much of that.
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ReplyDeleteI am not sure if I am crazy, dumb, or if everyone else is blind, but here we go.
ReplyDeleteIt feels like mc is Raiden.
Allow me to rephrase: It feels like mc was Raiden from the start, before he even lived as a kendo player.
At the start, the status window says: "Welcome back", if memory doesn't fail me. Furthermore, with the comment of: "This won't alter your memories" (referring to synchronization), there are a few things clear:
- MC was originally from this world.
- MC was either Raiden, or someone close enough to him to feel deep sorrow and sympathy when faced with his past (imagine if he was his mom or Rachel, the shenanigans would be absolutely hilarious)
Things that aren't so clear but I believe:
- MC was Raiden before he reincarnated.
- To support this I would like to bring attention to how their stories are like mirrors of one another: Raiden lived his entire life disregarding his own happiness out of his own fear: Having those he loves taken away from him abruptly. Therefore, he pushed all those who loved him and could have helped him recover from his trauma away for the singular goal of never having to suffer the sorrow he felt when his mother died.
On the other hand, we have mc (which I believe hasn't been named) who lived his entire life disregarding his own happiness out of wishing desperately his father's love, even if it meant training to the point of breaking and to the point that he had no other source of happiness in his life.
Despite both of them having different targets, the way the deal with it is the same: Disregard the process to achieve the result, inevitably leading to a miserable life, like a comment said a few chapters ago.
Now on a bit more bonkers territory:
DeleteIt feels like the owner of the system was the one responsible for memory erasure and reincarnation.
They put him in a situation where he desperately wanted that which had always been granted (and rejected) priorly.
A life without a shred of affection so that he would come to value other's love more than he feared losing them.
After that, he reincarnated him back to Raiden, just at the moment he originally died.
It is possible that going back to the past wasn't possible, and that instead, Earth is just so damn accelerated in comparison to this world, that his entire life on Earth was the time between Raiden's death and MC possessing the body.
I would also like to mention that it is likely that him getting the novel recommended to him was so that he could know what would be the outcome of his actions and look at them more objectively: "Sure, you have succeeded in pushing everyone away, but now everyone hates you and thinks of you as the butt of a joke for one satisfying chapter. Is this... really what you wanted?"
And finally the System: It feels like it is meant to take him out of the mindset of "The end justifies the means", the mindset of ignoring the requirements or how he gets to the result he wants, even if that means living an utterly miserable life until the target is achieved, and even achieving that target might not make him happy.
The system feels meant to correct that mentality.
Earlier on, the system was like: "Hey, would you like to explore a bit before going back home?" To which his answer was: "No, let's prioritize getting this done to be happy."
It is likely that he would have enjoyed the stroll, and that the system knew that, and that it will try to push him towards enjoying the moment rather than pushing onward towards an uncertain happiness, even if that's what it's luring him with. Perhaps because no other bait would have worked.
Now we enter the territory of Why?
Well, since this is the main character and not a side character, I assume og Raiden was meant to be pretty important in the narrative/fate of things, but the death of his mother/how he coped with it was unexpected and badly derailed the story, as can be picked up on by the fact that the novel started out light hearted but became darker as time went on, which I assume would be things slowly derailing and snowballing into absolute catastrophe.
It is also possible that the system just liked and sympathised with Raiden.
But it's just a theory. A novel theory.
Peace out.
He got an EX rank skill but his negative emotions are also EX rank ðŸ˜
ReplyDeleteTell everyone why, how and when Raiden died and be done with it. I can't stand the way this story is set up.
ReplyDeleteEver heard of backstory??? Fucking retard.
Delete