A Knot Untied
"Ugh…"
I groaned as I lay sprawled on the garden floor, rubbing my aching back.
Fortunately, the soft grass cushioned my fall, but it didn't mean it didn't hurt.
'What the…'
What was that all about?
Milliam had just left, and I was enjoying the peace of the garden when out of nowhere, Lucy came charging at me like a wild boar.
Is she just going to ram into me every time we meet now…?
Seriously, what's wrong with her?
Annoyance surged within me, and I tried to push the girl off me, snapping,
"What is the meaning of this rudeness? Even if you are the Princess, this is…"
-Thud, thud…
But my words were cut short.
Tiny droplets began falling onto my cheeks.
"…?"
It wasn't rain.
The sky above, which I had been looking at just moments ago, was clear, without a single trace of moisture.
And unlike rain, these droplets were warm.
Then where were they coming from?
I rolled my eyes, trying to find the source of the water.
And then, my gaze met a pair of clear, blue eyes.
Staring into those blue orbs, I couldn't help but utter a dumbfounded sound.
"Huh…?"
Lucy was looking down at me, still straddling my chest.
She was clutching my clothes tightly, tears streaming down her face.
"Sniff… Sob… Ugh… Hic…"
"Your Highness…?"
I froze, unable to react to this sudden turn of events.
I tried to collect my thoughts and called out to Lucy, but she only continued to sob.
"Sob… Sniff…"
Her delicate whimpers echoed through the night garden.
Perhaps because of the surrounding silence, Lucy's cries seemed even louder.
The sound of her sorrow pierced my ears, making my head spin.
What's going on? Why is she crying like this?
Did I do something wrong?
Even from Raiden's perspective, it had been a long time since he had seen Lucy cry like this.
"Hic… Raiden… Sob…"
"......"
Judging by the way she was miserably calling my name, it seemed like I was the cause of her tears.
But what could the reason be?
I really didn't do anything this time…?
No, more importantly, is this going to be okay?
I had no idea what was going on, but I had just made the Empire's Princess cry.
What would that doting fool Milliam do if he found out…?
If he learned that I had made his precious daughter cry again…
'I'm doomed. I'm definitely getting executed.'
I sat up, feeling cold sweat trickle down my back.
I didn't know what I did wrong, but I knew I had to apologize first.
Carefully, as if she were made of glass, I placed my hands on Lucy's shoulders and gently pulled her away.
"Your Highness… I don't know what I did wrong, but please calm down…"
"Sniff… Sob… It's not that…!"
Lucy shook her head violently, grabbing onto my hands as I tried to push her away.
I could feel a delicate tremor running through her slender fingers.
She sniffed a few more times, then collapsed onto me as if her strength had given out.
"Y-Your Highness…?!"
I was now lying on the ground, with Lucy in my arms.
I tried to get up, flustered, but Lucy held me down, burying her face in my chest.
She was hitting me weakly, her sobs muffled by my clothes.
I could feel the dampness of her tears soaking through the fabric.
"Why… Why did you do that, you idiot…"
"Your Highness… I truly don't understand what you…"
"Don't play dumb…!"
When I expressed my confusion, Lucy's eyes shot open, her voice sharp.
Her face, looking up at me, was filled with anguish.
"I know everything…! Everything…!"
"You know everything, but what…"
"My brother told me…! Everything you were hiding…!"
"The Crown Prince…?"
I desperately tried to gather my wits, my mind racing.
Seon told her something…?
Something about me, something that Seon would tell Lucy…
And something that would elicit such a strong reaction from Lucy…
'…There's only one thing that comes to mind.'
Could it be…
"Did… Did you hear about my mother…?"
Lucy nodded tearfully instead of answering.
I sighed softly at her reaction.
"Ah…"
***
Raiden and Lucy moved to a different spot.
They couldn't continue their conversation in that position.
The two sat side by side on a white marble bench in the center of the garden.
"......"
"......"
A heavy silence fell between the boy and the girl.
Both had things they wanted to say, but neither could bring themselves to speak.
It was as if something was stuck in their throats.
They remained silent, lost in their own thoughts.
-Chirp, chirp…
The chirping of crickets filled the silence, meticulously weaving through the empty spaces of the garden.
Leaves, carried by the early autumn breeze, danced around Raiden and Lucy.
The boy and girl gazed at the vibrant scenery with unfocused eyes.
Several minutes of silence passed.
Just as the wind rustled the leaves once more, Lucy parted her lips.
"Raiden."
"…Yes, Your Highness."
The brief silence she had broken shattered into countless fragments with that single, soft word.
Lucy continued in a trembling voice,
"Why… Why did you do that…?"
A simple question, yet laden with emotions.
It slowly erased the fragments of sound that had been scattered in the air.
Raiden pressed his hand against his aching chest and exhaled slowly.
He pondered how to answer Lucy's question, then lifted his head.
"…I am deeply sorry. I believe it was a time when I was struggling to control myself."
He spoke frankly about the emotions he had felt back then.
"I felt compelled to be alone… I couldn't control myself."
"......"
Lucy bit her lip at his response.
She seemed to be holding back tears, her body trembling slightly.
"And now…?"
Her voice, barely escaping her throat, was laced with a raw vulnerability.
"Are you okay now? Do you still… think that way…?"
"I'm much better now."
"That means… you're not completely healed."
"......"
Silence fell once more.
Their conversation kept getting cut short, punctuated by pauses.
Lucy needed time to collect herself whenever her emotions surged.
"Why… didn't you tell me…?"
"......"
"Was I… not trustworthy…? Was I not… a source of support for you…?"
"That's not true."
Raiden couldn't bear to hear her blame herself any longer.
He felt a heavy weight pressing down on his chest, a mix of complex emotions. He rubbed his face with his hands.
Then, burying his face in his palms, he spoke,
"I was… afraid."
"Afraid…?"
"I felt like all the misfortunes… were happening because of me… I felt like I was going crazy."
Because I was afraid that my existence… would hurt you.
Raiden murmured, his voice trembling in a way that was unusual for him.
Seeing him on the verge of breaking, Lucy felt tears welling up in her eyes again.
"You idiot… Raiden, you're an idiot…"
"Yes… I truly am."
"I… I resented you without knowing anything…"
Her blue eyes, glistening with unshed tears, resembled the stars in the night sky.
The stars shimmered, gazing at the boy shrouded in darkness.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Raiden… I didn't know your pain… If I had known… If only I had known…"
Lucy apologized her face a picture of despair.
Her apology only made Raiden's heart ache more.
He didn't reply. He simply reached out and wiped away her tears.
Then, with a gentle touch, he caressed her cheek.
He was remembering.
The sin he had committed in his moment of despair.
The cruel handprint he had left on this delicate skin.
"......"
He was silently asking her.
Did it hurt a lot?
At Raiden's question, filled with guilt and sorrow, Lucy finally broke down, releasing the emotions she had been holding back.
"Sob… Sob… Waaaah!!"
Several scenes flashed through her mind.
The first one that came to mind was from around this time last year.
His cold hand slapped her cheek at her birthday banquet.
The second was from a few days ago.
His gentle hand wiping the blood off her cheek after saving her from the assassins.
And the last one was right now.
His longed-for touch, gently comforting her as she cried.
"Hic…! R-Raiden… It hurt… It really hurt when you hit me…"
"…I'm so sorry, Your Highness."
"I was so scared… that you would really disappear… that you would hate me…"
"You can hit me until you feel better."
"How could I ever hit you…!"
For the first time in a long time, Lucy was able to act spoiled.
Embraced in someone's arms, without having to worry about anyone's judgment.
These were the tears she had been swallowing since Raiden disappeared from her life.
Raiden, knowing this all too well, silently accepted Lucy's outpouring of emotions.
"Sniff… Sob… Hic…!"
"I won't leave anymore."
The boy soothed the star that was trembling with loneliness.
The star leaned into him, melting into his warmth.
He stayed by her side until the star, exhausted from crying, fell asleep.
And so…
One of the knots of the past, which seemed impossible to untie, came undone.
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some cathartic tears for sure. glad the knots of the past are slowly unravelling.
ReplyDeleteExcept it's far too late. The OG Raiden already died. Only her knots come undone but the OG Raiden died miserably without undoing those knots.
DeleteBut well some hint here and there indicate that the OG Raiden and Kim Naru is the same person with the same karma. Let's see where this going.
I think the Og Raiden and the new one have the same soul, as in the same person. The System keeps insisting that they are the same person. So my theory is that Raiden killed himself, reborned in korea, and then killed himself again. The system, for unknown reason, brought him back.
Deletefor transmigration, I tend to see the Gods send souls to bodies that are actually very closely similar to the original's soul, so they often work it out without most people not noticing the difference
DeleteGod damn that first asshat reply... Why are so many people so cold and douchey here xD
DeleteThanks for the chapter
ReplyDeleteAll this crying and stuff, and all I can think of is that the original Raiden is already dead, this is just the equivalent of going to cry to his grave
ReplyDeleteI really hope all the theories about Kim Naru and Raiden being the same soul to be cus at this point if it's not, it's just painful to think that the og Raiden is dead
ReplyDelete