.
Raiden Lishite was a boy loved by everyone.
He was respectful to his elders.
He was kind to those beneath him.
And he knew how to cherish the people around him.
Even though he was born with meager talent and a sharp appearance, people liked him.
He was a proud son to his parents.
A respected brother to his younger sister.
And a lovable young master to the servants.
Because Raiden knew how to give love to others and receive it.
Joy and happiness always overflowed around the boy.
However, a storm came to the boy's peaceful world.
-Mother... No, Mother...
When Raiden turned sixteen.
His mother passed away.
The cause of death was assassination.
It happened on a quiet winter night.
After finishing his daily routine, Raiden was lying in bed.
He heard occasional creaking sounds from outside the window, but the exhausted boy dismissed them as his imagination.
He shouldn't have.
-Crash!!
The window shattered with a sharp noise.
As Raiden sat up in surprise, unidentified assailants barged into his room.
Shadows approached with a chilling aura, drawing their swords from their waists.
The boy, too shocked by the situation, froze in place.
-If you come quietly, we won't kill you.
Just as the black hands reached out to Raiden.
A woman with red hair suddenly appeared, blocking their path.
-Run, Raiden!!
Blue magic flickered from her delicate fingertips.
The next moment, a surge of magic pushed Raiden's body towards the door.
In less than a second.
The boy saw it.
His mother, forcing a clumsy smile towards him with trembling lips.
And several swords protruding from her stomach.
-I'm... sorry... My... son...
-M... Mother...?
The memories after that were hazy.
The boy simply stood still.
His father arrived late and slaughtered the assassins who were laughing.
Even as the shocked butler shook the boy's shoulders, asking if he was alright.
The boy just stared at his mother's rapidly cooling body.
It was the first death the boy had ever encountered in his life.
And his first farewell, faced without any preparation.
The death of the person he had relied on most since childhood came as a tremendous shock.
And that shock severely distorted his mental state.
-Mother... M-Mom, because of me...
The boy was tormented by the fact that his mother died saving him.
The person he loved, sacrificed herself for him, out of love for him.
Those horrible thoughts gradually broke the boy down.
To forget the vivid memories of that day etched in his mind, he lived every day drowning himself in alcohol.
His judgment became increasingly clouded as he spent all day intoxicated.
-It's all... It's all my fault...
-If Mother hadn't loved me, this wouldn't have happened...
-......I should have died instead.
Foolish boy.
He was still young and didn't know how to properly overcome his wounds.
His mind was too overwhelmed to think straight.
His mother's sincere devotion and sacrifice were too much for the boy to bear.
This became the first reason why Raiden feared being loved by others.
And soon, it settled in his heart as a kind of obsession.
From then on, the boy rejected the love of others.
He didn't try to give love to others like before, nor did he try to receive it.
Instead, he did all sorts of evil deeds to be hated and despised.
-You can't even do this properly?!
-This food tastes awful!!
He hurled insults at the servants of the mansion.
-Hic... Stop telling me to stop drinking... Damn it, what business is it of yours, Father!!
He drank every day, ruining his own behavior.
-Hey there, pretty lady? How about spending the night with me...
At the academy, he relentlessly flirted with female students.
-This class is so boring.
-How dare a mere academy professor lecture me?! You must want to die!?
He would always cause trouble during class.
As obsession and trauma consumed his mind, Raiden's delinquent behavior only worsened.
Of course, perhaps because his heart was inherently soft, he couldn't commit truly evil acts like violence or murder.
However, it was enough to earn the world's hatred.
Rumors about Raiden started from the academy and gradually grew in size.
And as they grew, various rumors and falsehoods were mixed in.
The boy had never slept with a woman, but rumors spread that he lived a promiscuous and debauched life.
He had never laid a hand on anyone, but stories circulated that he habitually assaulted servants.
The fact that the Duke's eldest son was a delinquent was such a sensational topic for gossip.
Rumors about the boy spread like wildfire.
Raiden was satisfied with that.
Far from trying to stop the rumors, he focused on fueling them.
He spent money and used people to deliberately create negative public opinion about himself.
And whenever the reactions died down, he continued to put on flamboyant performances.
-I shouldn't be loved, I don't deserve it...
-......I'm a monster who survived by drinking my mother's blood.
-I don't want to make anyone who loves me... unhappy again...
The boy muttered to himself every night like a madman.
His thoughts and reason were already consumed by self-loathing.
And every action he took was deeply ingrained with obsession.
-......I miss you, Mother.
He was a foolish boy of seventeen.
Raiden continued his delinquent behavior, spending each day in turmoil.
As more time passed, he turned eighteen.
The delinquent met a student at the academy.
Allen Reinhardt.
The boy who was considered the most talented among the first-year students at the academy.
And the protagonist of the novel 'Sorrow-erasing Heroes'.
He threw his glove at Raiden, who was harassing female students as usual, and said,
-"I challenge you to a duel, senior. Stop bothering my friends and fight me."
Raiden accepted the challenge with a smile in his heart.
This was an opportunity to be hated and ridiculed even more, so there was no reason to refuse.
The boy even felt gratitude towards Allen as he entered the duel.
And that day, Raiden was brutally beaten in front of countless spectators.
The male students who watched the duel laughed mockingly, finding it satisfying.
The female students gazed at Allen with admiration.
Allen frowned and said to Raiden,
-Originally, I was going to demand your expulsion from the academy as compensation for the duel... but I'll let it slide.
-But please keep this in mind.
-Never appear in front of me or my friends again.
After the duel, Raiden returned to his dormitory.
Familiar emptiness and darkness greeted him.
The boy trudged along, quietly sinking to the floor in his empty room.
The wounds stung fiercely.
But it was okay.
No one worried about him.
But it was okay.
Everyone glared at him with contempt.
But it was okay.
-......
No.
Was it... really okay...?
He felt a sorrow tinged with despair.
He felt a pain stabbing his chest.
He felt an incredibly desolate loneliness.
But he quietly comforted himself.
-It's okay, I'm doing well...
-It's okay... It'll be okay...
He muttered to himself, forcing a smile as he tried to sleep.
His broken mind was like a truck with a broken steering wheel.
Unable to change direction even though he knew he was on the wrong path.
A frantic race.
The boy's downfall eventually led him to ruin.
A few days after the duel,
Raiden's younger sister, who had entered the academy as a first-year student, came to find him.
She seemed furious, having heard about the duel with Allen.
The girl shouted at the boy,
-"Why! Why are you doing this! I asked you to just stay quiet!!"
His cute and gentle younger sister had transformed into a sharp and cold figure.
Raiden felt a slight bitterness at that.
But he didn't show it and simply reacted with his usual nonchalant attitude.
The girl was exhausted by Raiden's behavior.
She felt she could no longer wait for her kind and warm brother from the past.
Perhaps that was why?
Words that she would never normally utter escaped her lips.
-"I wish... that day, you had died instead of Mom..."
Raiden froze at those words.
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Pathetic... He just wasted his mother's love & sacrifice... Also hurted others
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chapter.
... Jesus christ people like you are why we have depression.
Delete"nig your depression ain't even real, stop self diagnosing. I've seen many of y'all weebs clame to have depression, why don't you try touching grass and see your depression fly away instead .
DeleteMotherfucker drops a slur and says people that are depressed are lying about it. Listen here, bitch. You're just a pathetic online dickhead that gets off minimizing and denying the struggles of others. If you don't have any empathy for your fellow man, then how about you at least keep your mouth shut instead of pretending like you understand anything about life or its difficulties. You can keep living in your little bubble. So shut the fuck up, you ignorant ape.
DeleteHAHAHA such a lame back story.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA Bet your life is much sadder than this
DeleteThe reason why people keep underestimating kids' stress are because of people like you. Smh. I've seen enough parents and adults traumatize kids just because they see it as something small, lame, and dumb.
DeleteThe way I see it, people has become more and more apathetic as time goes.
That's what trauma do to you, I guess. Some people cope by having healthy hobbies while others cope through less healthy ways such as drowning in alcohol and drugs. The OG is just a bit... unique. Perhaps because of his upbringing, he chose to cope that way.
ReplyDeleteKinda embarrassing to be honest but it's understandable
DeletePeople blame him when they didn't even try to help a child with trauma. How hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI hope the author is ok
ReplyDeletePersonally I think the author is projecting themselves into this character. While obviously making it excessively dramatic... Or not dramatic enough? We never know
DeleteGood backstory but the way he keeps fueling it has humiliation fetish vibes
ReplyDeleteSelf destruction from guilt is a real thing and people refuse to acknowledge that, someone could seem happy even after a tragedy and the next thing you know they commit suicide.
ReplyDeleteThat's why depression is unpredictable, it differs from person to person according to many factors, mental stability, the environment they live in, the people they surround themselves with, etc...
Honestly thats quite relatable. I've never went as far as he did, but I also do things that will hurt me and my future out of self loathing. It's like.. a way to have control I think? I'm not sure why we do that. It feels satisfying to get "what we deserve" even if it's logically unreasonable.
ReplyDeleteBruh that's edgy af why not actually just make the guy actually commit the rumors that's been spread about him
ReplyDeleteThis chapter was almost triggering to me. The author understands the angst that sometimes accompanies trauma too well.
ReplyDelete