Liar
It wasn’t until the sky began to darken that I finished my training.
I wiped my sweat-drenched bangs and let out a quick breath.
The surface of the dropped training sword was engraved with the number of dummies I had defeated.
[Number of dummies defeated: 376]
“Hmm…”
It was a fairly high number, but not enough to satisfy me.
My goal was over 500.
It seemed my low stats were holding me back.
‘…It feels like I’m wearing clothes that don’t fit.’
Should I say my body can’t keep up with my mind?
It was frustrating that my movements weren't following my thoughts.
I let out a complicated sigh as I organized my equipment.
Perhaps because I had been swinging the sword for hours without rest, the muscles in my entire body were screaming.
My mana was also churning inside me, having used it as soon as it replenished.
I spat out some sticky saliva and looked around.
“…”
The training ground was empty.
Everyone must have gone back to the dormitory as it was getting late.
I had to go back soon too.
It would be troublesome if I was restricted from entering the dormitory because I was too late.
As I was about to leave the training ground with my belongings roughly packed, I heard a voice behind me.
“Young Master Lishite.”
This voice is…?
I turned my head and looked back.
“Lady Phyler…?”
There she was, Raiden’s former fiancée.
Margaret was staring at me with her arms crossed.
Alluring red eyes and long silver hair.
I flinched at her uniquely mysterious aura.
…She’s so unrealistically beautiful that it’s scary.
Besides, there was a lot of bad blood between her and Raiden.
Whatever her business was, I had to deal with it quickly and disappear. With that resolve, I met her gaze.
“Did you call me?”
However, Margaret's expression became even more distorted.
What's wrong?
Why is she like this?
"A polite tone."
"......"
"You're pretending to be polite now? That's not like you at all."
......Why is she suddenly being hostile?
Pretending to be polite? I’ve been living a very sincere life lately, haven’t I?
I’ve put in so much effort to not be hated by everyone anymore.
I was about to look at Margaret with a feeling of injustice—
“You’ve been thoroughly tormenting the students I care about for the past few weeks, haven’t you?”
—but I lowered my gaze slightly.
Because I immediately knew what she was talking about.
“The top commoner students, the eldest daughter of Viscount Lebion, the second son of Baron Front…”
“…”
Those were all the students I had beaten up.
Well, of course, it wasn’t out of malice. They were just unfortunate lambs sacrificed for title farming.
“You knew, didn’t you? That those students were part of my faction.”
“…I didn’t know.”
I didn’t target them specifically.
It just turned out that they were all part of Margaret’s faction after I beat them up.
And I only found out about it later when Golden Boy and Ariel told me.
“Ha, lies.”
Of course, the lady in front of me didn't believe me.
The silver-haired girl exuded a blatantly hostile aura.
“I’m sick of your lies… both past and present.”
It seemed she was referring to Raiden’s past misdeeds.
He had done a lot of wrong to Margaret.
If you were to name the four people who suffered the most from Raiden’s delinquent behavior, it would probably be Margaret, Lucy, Ariel, and Rachel.
As I was pretending to be remorseful and lost in thought,
“You’re nothing but a liar full of deceit.”
Her sharp words pierced me to the core.
Liar.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe for a moment.
It was an unexpected attack that struck a raw nerve.
-Naru!
I tried to shake off the shadows of the past that were creeping up on me.
But it was a futile attempt.
Because the scenes I had tried so hard to forget were already replaying in my mind.
-Naru
No.
I don’t want these memories.
I clutched my throat, my airway tightening.
My ragged, erratic breathing made my head spin.
“Young Master?”
“Ugh, gasp… gasp…”
My legs gave way, and I collapsed to my knees.
I could faintly hear Margaret’s voice filled with concern, but I couldn’t focus on it.
-H-How was training today? W-Was it hard?
-Mmm… I-I’m fine! I-I didn’t get scolded much today!
-I-I want Naru to stay with me forever!
Help me.
Help me, status window.
Damn it, where are you? Erase this voice quickly.
I don’t want to hear it. Not those words.
Don’t say it. Don’t look at me like that.
Please…
-You… you promised you’d stay by my side.
-…You liar.
“Ugh…”
Just as I was about to faint with nausea,
a clear mechanical sound rang out, erasing everything.
-Ding!
[The skill ‘Iron Will’ negates the user’s abnormal status (panic disorder, suicidal urges, self-harm, trauma, etc.).]
“Ha… ha…”
I crouched down, gasping for breath.
The voice was gone, and my breathing returned to normal, but
I couldn’t bring myself to stand up.
Resentment towards the status window that appeared too late, self-loathing,
and guilt towards someone.
The remnants of my messy emotions weighed heavily on my heart.
“Raiden!”
It was the voice calling my name desperately that brought me back to my senses.
“W-What’s wrong with you? Like last time, are you feeling ill?”
Margaret was patting my back with a worried voice.
She looked around and then got up from her spot.
“W-Wait! I’ll get someone. The infirmary is still open, even though it’s late…”
I appreciated her concern, but
I was fine.
I couldn’t show her any more of my weakness.
My head was also clear thanks to the intervention of the status window.
“…I’m alright, Lady.”
“Raiden…?”
“I apologize for causing a scene.”
I brushed her hand away and jumped to my feet.
My mind was in such turmoil that I couldn’t control my actions.
I stumbled away from her, almost as if I were running away.
I felt…
a little tired.
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Will he ever grow?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the chapter
Honestly, it's not about growing up but rather recovering from trauma. And something like this usually takes time and emotional support to recover from.
Deleteas the other guy mentioned it will be hard to recover, from what i can piece together it seems he had a girl who he was closed to in his past life and due to his training and experiances he might have absolutuly destroyed her brother in kendo, which lead her brother becoming trawmatized or worse. and he lost his only close friend so people saying its his fault triggers his trawma
DeleteIS THAT the sort of thing you'd say to a trauma victim xD? Wtf xD.
DeleteSo the “Iron Will” is like TMS treatment. Giving you a slight shock to get you out of your negative thoughts.
ReplyDeleteWtb iron will
ReplyDeleteDamn, my gramp and his crew would have appreciated the "iron will" function alot, PTSD is a btch for u and caretakers.
ReplyDeleteIt’s honestly hilarious his EX-rank skill which is meant to be legendary is only enough to barely cover his current mental state. It’s like when he merged his depression merged with his depression to make super depression.
ReplyDeleteDepression is evolving...
Delete...
...
...
Depression evolved into...
Super Depression!
Those who haven't experienced panic attacks won't be able to relate to the MC. If you had you wouldn't be telling the MC to grow up or get his shirt together.
ReplyDelete