Graduate(14)
"Why can't you understand what I'm saying...!"
Song Seon-young got angry at me.
"I understand."
"No, you don't understand at all! If you understood, you'd know that the competition is meaningless...!"
"It's not meaningless."
"What is-!"
"Because you promised not to commit suicide if I win."
"Is that important?"
"It's important. It's much more important than easily becoming rich with information from the future."
I declared while looking into her eyes, which stared at me like an enemy.
"......"
"......"
Song Seon-young, who looked away first, spoke in a slightly calmer tone.
"Kang Moon-soo, you're the only one who can understand me in this world. Because even if you go back to the past, you don't lose your memories. Am I wrong?"
"You're right."
I'm the only one who remembers what she ordered at a famous restaurant and what she fed the fish in the aquarium...
"No matter how much we fight, it's okay because other people's memories are erased. But not you."
Our memories remain even when we go back in time.
That's why, if our relationship goes wrong once, it doesn't recover even if we go back to the past.
"Moon-soo, I don't want to fight with you."
"Same here."
It wasn't just swimming in the pool that she and I did.
We laughed, played, and talked...
We had a lot of fun, and we were always together.
"Knowing that, why...?"
Song Seon-young asked, her face looking like she was about to cry any moment.
My heart ached at her appearance, but I continued.
"Seon-young, I have a memory that you'll never know."
"A memory I'll never know? There's no way-"
"The sight of you dying."
"......"
She, who thinks lightly of suicide, fell silent.
"You said it's okay because you lose consciousness before you die, but I've watched you until the end."
Her fragile body shattering as it fell onto the cold concrete floor.
I've seen countless times the expression of the girl who was just laughing with me disappearing and turning blood red.
"...You don't have to watch."
"Just because I don't watch doesn't mean you don't die."
"......"
"I wish the girl I like wouldn't die anymore."
"Ah..."
"Please, let's compete."
Song Seon-young hesitated for a moment at my persuasion, and then reluctantly opened her lips again.
"I still don't want to."
"Why?"
"Do you need to ask? If I die, I can go back to the past. I'll become rich and live without being tied to my aptitude."
"Hmm..."
'It's not as easy as expected.'
But I'm not saying this to her impulsively.
"Seon-young, I like you."
"I can't trust you. If you really like me, you should follow my opinion."
"No, it's because I like you that I can't follow it."
"That's just an excuse!"
"I'm scared. I'm afraid that the girl I like might really die. What if you commit suicide and can't go back to the past? What if time keeps flowing?"
"...That won't happen."
Song Seon-young denied it with an unconfident tone.
"Seon-young, we're not gods. We're fragile humans who don't even know why we're receiving such special treatment."
"......"
"Don't take your life lightly. This could be your last life."
There's no principle.
There's no precedent.
There's no source.
We are recklessly abusing the occult, which we know nothing about.
'It can't end well.'
The history of human beings, full of arrogance and regrets, is the proof.
I don't want to regret it.
"Don't be scared. It's been fine so far. Next time-"
"Next time could be different."
"......"
"......"
With a troubled face, Song Seon-young answered with difficulty.
"...I'll compete."
"Thank you!"
Wham!
Overwhelmed with emotion, I hugged her with both arms. I knew how difficult a decision it was for her.
"...But I have a condition too."
"What is it?"
"The next competition is the last one. And if I win this time..."
"If you win?"
"Be my Adam. Forever."
"......"
I suddenly thought I'd like to lose to her quickly.
* * *
I parted ways with Song Seon-young, who agreed not to commit suicide until the last competition, and looked forward to tomorrow.
"It's been a really long time."
Maybe it's because she's always been by my side since she promised to help me?
I suddenly felt empty.
Also,
"Oh dear..."
The smartphone I hadn't looked at even once while learning to swim made me feel awkward.
'Missed Calls (14)'
'Missed Messages (5)'
The price of relying solely on the occult and not paying attention to human relationships and social rules.
I felt the urge to go back just one more time.
'No, I can't.'
Once becomes twice, and twice becomes three times.
If I start wavering like this, I'll never be able to beat Song Seon-young.
"It's been a long time since I've been here too."
Creak, squeak-
The house I live in is a small room in the corner of the 3rd floor of a shabby commercial building.
Originally used as a storage room, it's the worst living space being cold in the winter and hot in the summer, but it has a strong advantage of having very cheap rent!
If I open my eyes to the talent of a shaman and can see ghosts, wouldn't this be the first place I'd visit?
"......"
In the corner of the bleak house without even a single family photo, there's a pile of garbage.
I thoroughly maintain cleanliness like doing laundry and bathing to appear normal at school, but the result is somewhat sloppy for everything else.
The time and energy to clean were entirely poured into part-time jobs.
'Being rich through stocks...'
The words of Song Seon-young in a bikini came to my mind like the devil's temptation.
Is my judgment really right?
If I become rich, I don't have to live in such a shabby room. I can also see her in a sexy swimsuit every day!
"I'm already regretting-"
Knock, knock!
"Moon-soo, are you home? It's your teacher."
"Ah..."
With a cautious knock, I heard my homeroom teacher's voice from outside the front door.
'Goodness! Did they come looking for me because they couldn't contact me?'
I hurriedly cleaned up the house, not wanting to show my untidy place.
'Song Seon-young would laugh at me for cleaning up.'
The place would get messy again when the occult is activated.
Still, I didn't stop cleaning. If I stopped here, I felt like I would settle down like Song Seon-young.
'I can't anymore.'
A life where everyone but her looks like a mannequin is wrong.
Including when she fed the leisurely swimming fish soda because she felt bad!
Me, Song Seon-young, the homeroom teacher, friends, neighbors...
We are all the same people.
Knock, knock!
"Moon-soo!"
"Yes! Teacher! Just a moment!"
I answered straight without pretending not to be home.
'When was the last time I did this?'
It felt like it had been a long time since I was conscious of someone else's gaze and acted accordingly. And I didn't mind it.
Click.
As I unlocked and carefully opened the front door, my homeroom teacher stood there with a basket of fruit.
"Are you feeling okay?"
Her first words were about my wellbeing, not scolding me.
"I'm fine."
"Really? You don't have any pain?"
"No."
"You can't imagine how surprised I was to hear that Moon-soo jumped out of the classroom window without any protective gear..."
"I'm sorry, teacher."
I wasn't in my right mind as the same situation kept repeating.
Thinking it was a waste of time to go down the stairs normally, so I jumped out the window?
I was crazy.
"Anyway, make sure to get a diagnosis at an orthopedic clinic later. Your bones might be cracked."
"Yes."
I answered diligently, but I had no intention of getting a diagnosis from a doctor. There were no problems even when swimming with all my strength.
"Now... shall we hear the reason?"
It's here.
"I think I was under a lot of pressure because my life is determined by the aptitude test results."
"......"
"......"
"...I see. I expected it, but it still hurts to hear it directly."
"I'm sorry for causing a disturbance."
'I got through it!'
I expected it too.
As the aptitude test approaches, all senior high school students across the country become sensitive.
It's called senioritis!
The infamous 'senioritis'(High school senior syndrome) , recognized as a proper noun, is a very useful excuse for my peers.
Overeating, swearing, violence, infidelity, desertion...
It can be applied to any situation, including jumping out of classroom windows!
'Goodness...'
I never thought I, who prides myself as a rational cultural citizen, would make an excuse.
"Your place is a bit messy."
"I've been busy with part-time jobs..."
To me, this small room is just a place to sleep.
"Where are the cleaning supplies?"
"What?"
"I should have suspected when I heard you don't have a guardian. I've been too careless."
"Oh, no! It's okay. I'll clean it up on the weekend!"
"It's fine. Where are- ah, here they are."
"It's really okay..."
I haven't shown this embarrassing house to anyone so far.
But even cleaning?
I felt so burdened that I couldn't look at my homeroom teacher properly.
"It's not even a school..."
"Kang Moon-soo, for teachers, school is not just a workplace that pays a salary. It's a place where we've promised to meet with our scattered students."
"Ah..."
"I want to clean because I want to. So you don't need to feel burdened."
"I'll help too."
Tap tap.
The house, as messy as my mind at the moment, was quickly tidied up.
"Whatever aptitude you have, I'll support you."
"I know."
That's why you invited shaman Yoo Il-am to the school!
"Huh?"
"I meant that I know you've always cared about me."
"If you know, don't do dangerous things like jumping out of the window."
"Yes."
The teacher and I worked hard to clean the house, sweating in the process.
'If I go back again...'
I kept holding back the urge to give up and become weak.
Swoosh, swoosh-
"I had a time when I was as indecisive as you, Kang Moon-soo."
As my homeroom teacher finished tidying up the cleaning tools, she casually said.
"Really? But you said you became a math teacher according to your aptitude."
"I never said the process was smooth."
"Ah..."
When I think about it, that's true.
"I was a student who liked history more than math."
"History...?"
"I wasn't as good at it as math, but the history of humanity repeating its mistakes was very interesting."
"Ah, I see."
I couldn't relate.
"History doesn't have a clear answer. Even wars that everyone condemns accelerate the development of science and medicine. On the other hand, math may have various solutions, but there's only one correct answer."
"Ah... I didn't know that. You often talked about the end of the world."
That humans who keep making the same mistakes are the most forgetful social animals on Earth...
So I didn't know that my homeroom teacher liked history. I often felt the opposite.
"What are you talking about? I know history very well! Just memorize the names of the idiots who keep making the same mistakes with only the years changed. That's why I gave up teaching it."
"Why?"
"Because I couldn't understand people who couldn't understand history repeating itself."
"Ah..."
If you're good at a subject but it doesn't fit your personality, is it not 'aptitude'?
It was a blind spot.
"Oh no! I didn't come here to complain... I suddenly remembered the old days when I took the aptitude test."
"No, it's not like that."
"Don't repeat the same mistakes like history, Kang Moon-soo."
"Repeating..."
"I'm letting you off the hook because it's your first time."
Poke poke!
The words of my homeroom teacher, who had no idea that I was repeating the same mistake, stabbed my heart like a dagger.
"I'll keep that in mind."
I won't repeat it anymore.
"Kang Moon-soo, let's see your brightened face in the classroom tomorrow."
"Thank you for coming."
"No, it's my duty as a homeroom teacher. I like you all more than history."
"...Me too, teacher."
I don't want to lose my homeroom teacher who remembers the present.
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